Passionate about child development and an advocate for children’s rights, Kelly Holyoake believes that the best way to support children is to support their primary caregiver, who in many families is the mother. With a keen interest in women’s health and wellbeing, she understands that many mothers feel isolated on their parenting journey, riddled wth self-doubt and feeling alone in their struggles. At Fiercely Gentle, she shares encouraging information online and supports mums with online mentoring. She shares tips and tricks to help you with the most important work you may ever do: small hacks that will have a big impact on your parenting and relationship with your little one, as well as helping you identity what is impacting your health and wellbeing and what you can do about it. Here she talks to The Natural Parent Magazine about the inspiration behind what she does, the challenges she has overcome, and her hopes and dreams for the future.
The passion: What inspired you to set up your business?
Advocating for children’s rights has been a passion and focus of mine for over 20 years now. Originally I worked in international development where I fundraised and advocated for girls’ education internationally. That passion and focus was then extended to the children I began working with in Early Childhood Education (ECE) over a decade ago.
The work of Nathan Mikaere Wallis has been very inspirational and informative for me and many others in my profession. He very clearly explains the brain development as well as the impact responsive caregivers have in the first three years of life. Combining the knowledge I now have in child development with my passion for children’s rights, I see that the best way to support children is to support their primary caregiver. In a lot of families, this is the mother.
I have also done a lot of research in mental health and women’s health & wellbeing (another huge area of interest for me). It is a dream come true to have my own business supporting mothers and in doing so supporting our youngest citizens.
Reducing childhood trauma so that we are raising a generation of young people with secure attachments and a strong sense of self is invaluable work. I therefore see the work of primary caregivers as unbelievably important, but many mothers still feel isolated and are riddled with self-doubt or feel alone in their struggles and this is not OK.
Maternal mental health is incredibly important. After listening to the struggles many mothers go through and experiencing my own struggles, I had to start a business that allows me to respond effectively to women through their postpartum journey and onwards. There are a lot of incredible women working in this space but there is still a need.
The launch: How did you start out in the beginning?
While I have years of research and experience behind me, I am still very much in the beginning of my business journey. As a new mum myself, I have limited time so I am using that time to put useful and encouraging information online and am offering online mentoring for mums who want to reach out.
We are also interviewing inspiring women and mothers who want to share their stories. By highlighting the diversity of experiences mothers have, I am hoping that women feel more confident in their choices. There is not one particular way to mother. I want women to feel great about the decisions they are making and be informed as to how they can get better in the areas they want to grow in.
The innovation: What was the biggest breakthrough for you with your business?
Every mum who reaches out or reads a post of mine and is encouraged or feels supported is a breakthrough for me. It is an honour to work with mums and see them and their children thrive. Through my years of experience, I have found that knowledge is power for parents. Every parent wants to do the best they can for their child and they want more skills in their parental tool kit. Helping parents ‘equip up’ is a big passion of mine as it supports both the parents and the children. Like I said before, this is unbelievably important work.
Yin and Yang: How do you balance work and family?
As a single mother, I have to prioritise my son. He always comes first and so the juggle is real. I make the most of the time that he is asleep to respond to the women I am working with and to translate my research into easy to consume information or relatable poems/quotes.
I live in a small town where most people don’t have extended family around. Most people with young families are isolated in their bubbles with their heads down and are just trying to survive. I hope through my work we continue to create the connections women need to feel supported and thrive. For many mothers, part of their community is online now. Mothers seek advice and support from online experts and groups with similar parenting styles. I know for me, when I first had my son, there were accounts I got my information and encouragement from when I needed it. I want to be that for the women who resonate with my work and who want an advocate and mentor to walk alongside them in their journey.
