Surviving Unwanted Questions & Comments During the Holidays as a New or Expectant Parent

 Solution: Play detective and consider the source 

Unless your relatives are medical professionals, giving birth doesn’t make them childbirth experts. There are so many variables during delivery and the perspective and attitude of the mother has to be taken into account. Even families where certain physical traits are inherited-morning sickness, small body size, irregular cycles, etc. – improvements in delivery methods are happening all the time. Biology isn’t necessarily destiny.

Family conversation: You’re going to get back all the trouble you gave us when you were younger 

Wow. This is a stinging conversation-starter-and ender. Often these unhelpful comments come from a place of inadequacy – or even pain –  where a family member felt slighted, offended, or even hurt by something you did when you were younger.

Solution: Realise you don’t have to repeat old patterns 

While it is true that some behaviours can be passed down through the generations, it is equally true that they can be stopped in their tracks. In fact, during pregnancy, our thoughts often turn to how we might create a different family life for our children. Old family patterns don’t have to carry on. With some reflection about what you want to change and discussion with your partner about strategies to accomplish that change, you are well on your way to breaking unhealthy generational patterns. 

Find out how you can take control of your thoughts during gatherings at holidays here


Dr. Dawn Kingston, Canada’s leading expert on perinatal mental health and for over ten years, has been at the forefront of research on how to prevent postpartum depression. Her team has developed the HOPE App which is designed to significantly reduce prenatal anxiety and depression and directly support expectant mothers. They are studying it in a massive implementation study, one of the most ambitious projects of this type ever! 

Follow Dr Dawn Kingston on: 
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