Lou first noticed signs of ADHD in Jack when he was around 4. By 6, he was being rejected by his classmates and was often in trouble with his teacher. He was also highly emotional.
“I started to not like my son. I couldn’t reach him as he couldn’t focus long enough to hear me. It was exhausting. Yet, somehow I knew that his behaviour wasn’t purposeful, he’s a funny, talented, creative kid with a heart of gold.”
Lou describes having ADHD “like living without a pause button; you have no ability to stop, think and make conscious decisions. Your mind wanders constantly, hyper-focuses on unimportant tasks, and refuses to engage in important ones.”
“You’re prone to making impulsive decisions, then having to deal with the consequences,” says Lou.
The repercussions associated with impulsivity are evident throughout society, especially in the prison population where 25-40% of inmates are estimated to have ADHD (though most are undiagnosed and untreated).
This is an alarming overrepresentation considering only 4-4.2% of the general population are estimated to have ADHD.
Why understanding ADHD is so important
Many people still falsely blame ADHD on poor parenting or believe it’s an excuse for deliberately naughty behaviour, rudeness or lack of intelligence.
Without appropriate support, children with ADHD often struggle to achieve their goals or meet expectations. As adults they may report feeling like a failure and either give up or develop anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol addiction or eating disorders. The risk of suicide is 1.8 times higher in people with ADHD.
Changing outcomes
Early ADHD assessment, diagnosis and intervention is vital for improving outcomes. Delaying diagnosis can expose children to failure, rejection and punishment that may otherwise be avoided.
Acceptance and parenting from an ADHD perspective is essential, as attempts to ‘cure’ children or make them neurotypical sets them up for failure and exacerbates parental frustration or disappointment.
“Thankfully, Jack is heading in the right direction. He’s developing self-awareness and self-acceptance and is able to advocate for himself. Last year he said to his teacher, “I’m struggling because I’m bored. Could I draw for 5 minutes, as I think it would raise the dopamine levels in my brain and then I would be able to do my work?” The teacher agreed and later informed me that his strategy was successful.”
Effective parenting strategies
Lou has developed the Thriving with ADHD’s 5C’s Parenting Framework to help parents raise well-adjusted individuals with ADHD. The 5C’s are:
- Connection: Focus on your relationship with your child – make them feel safe, heard and valued.
- Composure: Be patient with your child and manage your own emotions.
- Compassion: Accept that your child has ADHD and love them regardless.
- Collaboration: Help your child identify both their challenges (lagging skills) and strengths.
- Consistency: Set rules and expectations, and then praise and reward positive behaviour.
“The focus needs to be on supporting children’s challenges, fostering their strengths and interests, and helping them develop the knowledge and skills they need to grow into well-adjusted individuals who feel good about themselves, live life independently and thrive.”
Visit https://thrivingwithadhd.com.au/ for more information about ADHD, coaching or consultancy services offered by Lou Brown.
At CPA we support and advocate on behalf of babies, children and adults with cerebral palsy and a range of neurological conditions. Visit www.cerebralpalsy.org.au/eci to find out about early childhood intervention programs and how we can support you and your child.
