This little human needs me. I am his source of food. I am his world. I accept that, I love him more than anything on this earth; that doesn’t mean it’s easy.
Those first few weeks when Dan went back to work were hard. I was still healing and sore. I was stuck in the chair feeding for hours then holding and rocking my baby to sleep for hours. Showering, eating and going to the toilet were my priorities after ensuring my son was happy. The isolation and lack of independence hit. I wasn’t in a place I grew up in. I knew a handful of people, no family. I knew one person with a baby, several months older than mine and the girls in my antenatal class I’d only met a few times – their babies were all 4-6 weeks older than mine. I have always been a very independent person; being stuck in the house with a baby on me, was hard. It still is! I want desperately to have my body to myself for a few moments. I want to just go for a drive or SOMETHING by myself for however long I want. I couldn’t, I can’t. This little human needs me. I am his source of food. I am his world. I accept that, I love him more than anything on this earth; that doesn’t mean it’s easy. There’s an adjustment period needed. Patience and presence required.
I began reading through posts on online mum groups I had been added to, thinking that there would be other mothers out there going through what I was. There was. For a while it was nice to have the reassurance, nice to know I wasn’t alone. Then the nastiness came through. The comparing, the judgement, the arguing, the rudeness. I thought we were in this together? I thought as women, as mums, we all understood the ups and downs, we all understood that we each have different babies and different ways of parenting? There was a dark side to these mum groups I didn’t want to be a part of. I retreated and decided to focus on my mama intuition. It gets stronger by the day. I spend my time speaking to mamas who are supportive and non-judgemental. I get out for walks with my son, and I nip off for an hour or two when I can.
There was a dark side to these mum groups I didn’t want to be a part of. I retreated and decided to focus on my mama intuition. It gets stronger by the day. I spend my time speaking to mamas who are supportive and non-judgemental
Being a new mum is a crazy ride. It is the most beautiful, yet most difficult thing I have ever done. His smile melts my heart. I have never known a love like this. I share my story because I want women to know it’s OK to struggle sometimes. It’s OK to feel lonely. It’s OK to ask for support. It’s OK to share the raw truth. No matter what, we are ALL in this journey together. Let’s help other new mums by being open and honest about this crazy beautiful journey. Remember, we are all doing our best, and that is enough.
Sarah is a mum to 15-week old Dylan, a writer, speaker and a mindset and mindfulness coach. She shares her honest journey of motherhood on her Facebook and Instagram along with empowering others to create an authentic life of alignment. She loves eating vegetables, rock music and swearing.
