The change in approach to bedtimes was only a baby step in a parenting mind-shift my husband and I had to make and it was actually the easiest. At bedtime, it was just us. Nobody to defend our methods to. Nobody to feel answerable to. Harder was resilience to stay true to new direction in front of others… but that’s another story.
What I learnt about parenting during those bedtime battles, and what keeps being proven to me time and again as my child discovers who he is, is that parenting is a choice, and often the more gentler the choice, the tougher it is to make and even harder to stick to at times. The changing paradigms around parenting, the acceptance that a more gentle approach is just as valid, is incredibly important for families.
I allowed myself to believe that parenting wasn’t about me being in control, but a two-way street between me and my child; no matter how small. I felt myself soften and welcome in this new direction. It was liberating and, essentially, healing.
I am constantly inspired by the writers featured here at The Natural Parent Magazine. Recently, with the threenager currently shaking up our household, it’s been my go-to for support and guidance. An article by Amanda Sharma on this site proved invaluable at a point of self-doubt.
If you are, like me, struggling to process all the things “they” are telling you, or are struggling under the weight of the many changes and challenges that being a mum brings, don’t be afraid to take a new path. Reach out to the community here and allow yourself some time to explore a more forgiving space, for you and your child.
I’m not saying that we don’t face the same tantrums, tears and challenges that any family with a preschooler have; far from it!
At least now, I don’t feel alone as a mum. We made a choice as a family. We have a shared vocabulary and clear message that we stick to.
Choosing a new way, saved us.
Abi is a freelance writer, teacher, and mum to a cheeky two-year-old. In the words of the immortal Audrey Hepburn, she likes ‘books, tea and sitting on the floor’. Find her on Facebook, Instagram or click here for her website.
