Through my research, I did become aware of a whole industry of support that exists once you are a parent. There are parent coaches, return-to-work coaches, couples therapists and career counsellors to help pick up the pieces (often expensively) when things go wrong.
There are also campaign groups, like Working Families and Pregnant Then Screwed, lobbying for changes to government policy to reduce child poverty and maternity discrimination, and helping parents who have reached crisis point.
Although this support for parents is much needed, I couldn’t help thinking a lot of it might not be needed if there was better planning and preparation for parenthood, and if future parents themselves became advocates for change. Wouldn’t prevention be better than a cure?
ADOPTION VALUES PREPARATION
After a long period of infertility, my husband and I eventually found ourselves in the process to become adoptive parents.
Only 1% of parents in the UK are parents by adoption. Because of the special challenges of adoption, preparation is seen as key to a successful adoption placement.
Finally, I got some encouragement and help to plan and prepare. Through adoption preparation classes, and with the help of our social worker who had to write a long report about our suitability, we were guided to make detailed plans for our finances, childcare, support, time off work and working hours.
And guess what? When we finally invested our time in planning out the logistics of our future family life, my anxiety about becoming a parent finally lifted. Finally I felt in control of my life’s direction, and confident enough that we could do this without falling apart. It was an incredible feeling to finally be excited about becoming a parent after years of anxiety.
THE PARENTHOOD PLANNER
That was seven years ago. During the years since becoming a parent to two, the planning and practical preparations that we originally did have served us extremely well.
The plans you make will never be followed exactly, but starting out on the same page as your partner is invaluable, and having a plan that’s adaptable is so much better than no plan at all.
That’s why last year I started my business Preparental to support future parents to plan their lives in practical ways for having children.
I believe I’m the UK’s first and only Parenthood Planner. As a result of my own experience I’ve created a much-needed service – a structured step-by-step approach to preparing your life for parenthood that avoids overwhelm, delivered in The Parenthood Planning Club.
My mission is to provide affordable resources, tools and support to help future parents take control of their parenthood experience, make intentional decisions and have a more enjoyable time as parents.
Helen Cammack is the founder of Preparental.com, the home of The Parenthood Planning Club and The Preparental Calculator. She creates resources and tools to support future parents in their preparation and life planning for parenthood. You can follow Helen on LinkedIn and TikTok.
