OUR EXPERIENCE HAS TAUGHT US TO TRUST MORE.
I am a risk-averse person in many respects. Part of this is my innate personality but part of it comes from my childhood. I was helped a lot. I was told to be careful a lot. I understand why because I now do the same things with my kids. It just feels like the natural way to parent. But it’s not doing them any good. They WANT to climb high, jump big and swim deep. I struggle to keep the balance of staying close for the times where my 17 month old is going to throw himself off some kind of high up ledge but far enough away that he has the chance to figure out how to get down by himself.
Accidents will happen, but falls and tumbles and scrapes and burns can happen at any age to anyone. I’ve had more serious accidents as an adult then I did as a child. And our kids will hurt themselves but it’s going to happen whether we are calling ‘be careful’ at their heels as they climb away from us or when we are mindfully aware of the chances they are taking and giving them the space to make those decisions.
Children also need the time and the space to create, try and practice things. They will be slower than us. Messier than us. As parents and even more so as unschoolers, we work hard to let these things be OK in our home.
Children also need the time and the space to create, try and practice things. They will be slower than us. Messier than us. As parents and even more so as unschoolers, we work hard to let these things be OK in our home. They are going to spill things when they are measuring. They are going to drop paint on the table when they are painting. Bits of playdough are going to end up everywhere when they are building.
I FEEL CALMER AND HAPPIER IN A TIDY HOME BUT I STILL ALLOW MESS MAKING TO BE OK.
Finding a balance between vigilance and free-range is tricky but it’s so important. The freedom to explore and create and practice lies somewhere between these two extremes. It is in this place that children learn to trust their abilities. We as the parents are their safety net, but that net should not stop them from failing. We should be the net that help’s them feel safe enough to fail because
If you’re not prepared to do anything wrong, you’ll never come up with anything original.
~ Ken Robinson
Our kids want to do real work. We need to give them the real tools and invite the accompanying risk into their lives.
This is real life, let’s let our children live it.
Jessica Braidwood is an entrepreneur and an unschooling attachment parent. She lives on the West Coast of Canada in Victoria, BC with her husband and 2 kids. She blogs at Pocketful of Pebbles and believes strongly in intentional living and finding the village families need to be successful.
