4. The negative thoughts are consuming you
COVID-19: Anyone who watches the news right now is being bombarded with bad news and negative emotions. We’re angry that this is happening. We’re frustrated that we don’t know when this will all be over and that we’re being forced to re-organise our lives. Not to mention that we have zero control or visibility of when this will be over. It’s hard not to be sucked into the pit of negativity and have it consuming your every waking thought.
INFERTILITY: This is EXACTLY how infertility feels. It is all-consuming, and the negative thoughts are the worst.
Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? Why is everyone falling pregnant around me? I hate this situation.
It’s a constant loop inside your head from which there is no escape.
10 years ago I started my fertility journey. Today I am sitting in my home office in isolation from the outside world, with my 2 children in the next room (yes, having screen time so I can write this article).
The world is consumed by COVID-19, yet I feel completely at ease.
Infertility prepared me for this pandemic.
7 years of being unable to control the outcome, living with the fear of not being a mum, constant triggers and negative thoughts, and a feeling of complete isolation, means I can sit here and not feel the weight of the world on my shoulders.
The people who will come out the other side of this untouched are those who are mentally strong and have emotional intelligence. And mental toughness is what infertility is all about.
It’s the ability to get up after every setback. Release control of the outcome to the universe. Trust that things will work out how they’re supposed to. See the positives in the situation.
Be guided by love and not fear. Show compassion to others instead of pushing them down. And be aware of your emotions and when you need to take a step back and re-energise.
So HOW do you prepare yourself and keep from going down that rabbit hole like Alice?
Here are 10 ways you can prepare yourself for the emotional ups and downs of infertility and life in general:
- Self-care – loads of it – and before you say “I don’t have time”, you do now! It doesn’t have to cost you money – sunshine and fresh air are free and even if you’re in complete lockdown, it’s still available. If you’d like a few suggestions, refer to my Instagram post.
- Journaling – get those thoughts out of your head. All of them. You’d be surprised how much stuff is floating around in there.
- Meditate – there are so many benefits, even if it’s just 5 minutes a day.
- Sleep – you cannot be brave if you’re tired. 7-9 hours per night is essential.
- Morning Routine – this is my thing. Your day continues as it starts, so if you wake up and start by scrolling social media and eating the leftover pizza from last night, you’ll be consumed by mindless chatter and reaching for fast food for the rest of the day.
- Breathing – simple right?
- Practise gratitude – very hard when life is crumbling around your feet, but what you focus on, grows. So, if you don’t want to be in the middle of a pile of rubble, switch it up. I guarantee you, there is always something to be grateful for, no matter how small.
- Random acts of kindness – not only will it make someone else’s day, but it is also scientifically proven to increase your immune system, calm you down, increase motivation and reduce pain.
- Music therapy – plug in your earphones and dance like no one is watching!
And THE most important tip – ACCEPT HELP!!!!
You don’t have to travel this path alone.
Jennifer Robertson is a fertility mentor and coach. She supports women who are struggling to conceive to reclaim their life by teaching them ways to not only survive the fertility rollercoaster but come out stronger and more empowered at the end.
Check out Jennifer’s website and join her Facebook and Instagram communities.
