By Jana Vilcova
Rituals and ceremonies are slowly finding their way back into our homes, even though the pace of living nowadays is not making this return easy. Our ancestors knew their power very well and used them as part of what we now call psycho-hygiene. And they processed in them what we call traumas today.
Our lives are hectic and we do not find space to pause very often. We don’t have time to honour the important moments in our lives. We don’t have time to stop and look at what we’ve achieved, where we are now compared to yesterday, and where we are heading. We also don’t have time to let go of what no longer serves us, to release our emotions, and to process what we have experienced. And so we store it all in an imaginary backpack that we carry through life, while it gets heavier and heavier with every significant event. Rituals and ceremonies help us sort through the contents of our backpacks, unpack what we don’t need anymore, and keep the gifts that life has given us and celebrate them! Alongside the most significant ceremonies that mark life-changing events, such as wedding ceremonies, stands Closing the Bones, a ceremony connected to the birth of a baby.
For many cultures, birth is a portal between two worlds. This portal opens forty days before birth. The birth itself is an open space, the body and the soul are fully open and it is said that during labour, the mother’s spirit travels through a labyrinth into the universe to find and collect her baby’s soul. During the following forty days, the mother must leave this labyrinth again and come back fully into this world. That is why it is so important for the mother to take care of herself, let others care for her, and rest for forty days after birth. How the mother spends those days, how much strength she regains, and how much she reconnects to her body, will affect the rest of her life. That is why the postpartum period is sacred in all cultures. Traditionally, on the 40th day postpartum, the Closing the Bones ceremony was performed to call the spirit back to the body and close the portal. Giving birth to a child is an initiation and the ceremony closes this process of transformation of a woman into a mother.
The ceremony has been used all over the world to aid in new mothers’ healing process. Its purpose is to close cycles and energetic fields and return heat to the body. It also helps to realign the bones and muscles, shift the pelvic organs, and shrink the uterus while stimulating blood flow.
Nevertheless, the ceremony can be performed even many years after birth with the same results because it helps you to close the old and open yourself to the new. It is deeply healing after the loss of a baby, abortion, unsuccessful IVF, hysterectomy, or fertility problems. It can be done at any point in life, even with people who haven’t given birth but wish to close something else in their lives. This ceremony is not exclusive to birthing mothers, parents, or women. The bone closing ceremony is for anyone who is going through or went through a traumatic or life-changing experience such as marriage, divorce, separation, loss of job, death of a close person, moving homes, going into menopause, overcoming an illness, or healing from a significant injury, etc.
