By Samantha Johnson
During the first few months of my son’s life, I would base my entire day around the arrival of the postman.
I had a little boy who had endured significant birth trauma and who, as a result, spent the first months – in fact, the first year – of his life in a state of distress.
Leaving our home was almost impossible, so desperate were his screams if he was anywhere but the comfort of our house, in my arms, at my breast.
My husband worked long hours and I had no family close by. The days were long – endlessly, painfully long – and could not even be eased by a drive in the car or a walk to the park; my son tolerated none of these things.
So for many months, I would await the arrival of the postman. Their arrival provided another adult with whom I could engage in conversation, even if it was just for a moment. And mail! Letters, packages. Things to become invested in, things to get excited about. This daily delivery gave my otherwise seemingly meaningless days such a sense of purpose. The arrival of the mail meant that life existed beyond my walls.
It reminded me that perhaps one day, I would too.
These were the days where I was lost to anything outside of my son’s needs. It was a time where there was no room for me to be anything other than a milk-delivery zombie, and it was the most isolating experience of my life.
These were the days where I was lost to anything outside of my son’s needs. It was a time where there was no room for me to be anything other than a milk-delivery zombie, and it was the most isolating experience of my life.
It must seem such an insignificant thing, the arrival of the mail, to those who aren’t in the depths of new parenthood.
But for me, it was a lifeboat.
Two years have passed now, since those strange, new, terrifying days.
My son is now a rambunctious, delightful, enthusiastic toddler and he has blossomed like a flower in the sun.
Long gone are the days of waiting for the postman; these days we barely sit still for a moment. He rushes me to the door each morning, desperate to leave the house, ready to take on the next adventure. We share in the most wonderful journeys, trekking through bush and beach in absolute bliss. Visiting friends, cooking together, dancing in the dirt and running through the rain.
