- Start off on the floor with your daughter and engage her in a favourite toy. Once she’s involved, move a few feet away. Sit and watch her; say a few positive words when she looks your way. Over time, move your “observation spot” farther and farther away. When she’s comfortable with this, then start your own activity in an adjacent room – such as reading, cleaning, cooking or doing paperwork.
- Create and follow a daily routine that includes some short bursts of solo play. For example, set up a regular pattern of playtime while you prepare a meal, pay bills, clean the kitchen or attend to a few career details – whatever tasks you can accomplish within earshot. Once she is used to this routine, she’ll automatically head to her toys at this time of day.
- Set aside special playtimes with your daughter. During these periods, give her your undivided attention. Set a timer and explain, “I’m setting the timer for 10 minutes and we can play. When the timer rings, I have to go make dinner.” As she gets used to this routine, she’ll enjoy your one-on-one playtime and become more relaxed with having you nearby afterwards, instead of right by her side.
- Take advantage of those times when your baby initiates independent play. This often happens when you least expect it, and you may be missing chances to let her find joy in her own activities. Try not to disturb her if she is involved in a solo activity; your mere presence may break the spell and cause your child to focus on you again.
- Don’t push your child away when she’s clinging to you. Doing so might amplify her feelings of helplessness. Instead, give her some extra cuddles and then distract her with a fun toy or activity. Once she’s happily engaged you can slowly pry yourself away.
- Make certain that your home is thoroughly childproofed. You actually may be encouraging her clingy behavior by following her around and pulling her away from dangerous or delicate items. Do what it takes to keep those items safe for (or from) your baby so you’ll feel better about taking your eyes off her for a minute or two. She’ll notice the difference as she is free to explore happily and independently.
Tips from The No-Cry Solution books by Elizabeth Pantley.
Elizabeth Pantley is a mother of four, grandmother, and author of the bestselling book, The No-Cry Sleep Solution, plus 8 other books in the No-Cry Solution Series which helps Mums and Dads through all key stages of parenting. Visit her at nocrysolution.com.
