I wanted to feel like was giving birth, not having surgery. This meant I watched our baby’s head being delivered. Our obstetrician agreed to deliver our baby’s head, then stand back so our baby could start to breath on it’s own. This essentially meant we could delay the cord clamping without the baby’s body being cold. I can’t even begin to describe what I felt watching our baby lie on my stomach, seemingly asleep! It was the most beautiful, raw, magical and amazing experience I could have ever imagined. And Belle captured it perfectly.
I wanted to own this birth and this long and emotional journey. This meant I wanted to do things differently. For the first time, we opted to not find out the gender of our baby during the pregnancy. It was so special; once the rest of the body was delivered that we were able to discover (Ourselves! As we’d asked for no announcement) that we had a son.
I wanted this birth to feel ‘natural’. This meant my left hand was cannulated (as I’m right handed) and my chest was free of wires. I bought a baby blanket during my pregnancy and slept with it each night. Once our baby was born, he was immediately placed on my chest for skin on skin contact and covered with the blanket that smelt just like me. It also meant he was able to be in contact with my microbiome, rather than the hospital’s, or the paediatrician who’d normally be holding him and checking him over.
I wanted my baby to have the benefits of a vaginal birth. This meant that whilst I couldn’t give birth vaginally, we could still have a gentle delivery with no forceps and delayed cord clamping followed by milking the cord. We also opted to ‘seed’ our baby so he had the opportunity to be exposed to greater levels and various types of beneficial bacteria that would more closely mimic the bacteria of a vaginal born baby. For me, the process of seeding began as a scientific and medical decision, however it was also symbolic and I could feel the wounds healing as I watched my husband gently swab my son’s face.
I wanted to have some control of my body and what happened to it. This meant that I chose to have my placenta encapsulated. My placenta was dried, ground into a powder and then placed in capsules. As I took the pills each day I felt my hormones balancing and my oxytocin flowing, and slowly, the injuries my spirit had encountered from my previous births began to heal.
My final pregnancy and the birth of our baby was a journey all of its own. The lessons I’ve learned about myself, motherhood, the obstetric community and the amazing positive birth movement is invaluable. I had to stand up and fight for my rights to birth my baby in a way that felt right for me. I had to fight for my right to own my own body and I had to demand respect for something that should be a given.
Birth, in itself, is such a raw, honest and emotional journey and I am filled with gratitude that I was finally able to bring a baby earth-side in a way that felt completely ‘right’ for me. My wish for the future is that other women are able to have positive birth experiences, no matter which way their baby enters our world.
Special thanks to Em for sharing her story with us, and as always to Belle Verdiglione for her incredible birth photos.
This was so raw but so beautiful to read, thanks for sharing. I just happened to come across this article on Facebook, and instantly thought this must be an overseas story. I was happy to find that it wasn’t. I wonder if this will ever become the “norm” with c section births. I am 32 weeks pregnant with my first baby, and would love some of these things to be part of my birth plan, should a vaginal birth not “go to plan”. Thanks for fighting for your rights, and giving other people the vision to also do the same. Would you consider sharing the name of the obstetrician?
Thanks again, this was amazing to read, and really opened my eyes to a lot of things.