3. The structure of school days is developmentally inappropriate
Children are not supposed to be sitting for extended periods. They are not supposed to be inside for extended periods. Children need regular exercise breaks, they need to run free, to get fresh air. If we want our children to learn, they need to be outside every 45 minutes for a break. Sitting at a desk for most of the day at age 10 is far too far away from our hunter-gatherer ancestors who, at that age, would be hunting in the forest, or caring for children, or cooking food, or doing one of many other learning activities in an outdoor, active environment. And when schools take away recess as punishment? It ignores that most children who act out are doing so because they need the break. Take that away and you’re asking for more trouble for the child. Where we live we now also have full-day kindergarten, which ignores the fact that many children still nap at that age. With no naptime and expectations of being able to sit still and pay attention for six to eight hours, we are creating problems in terms of our children’s sleep and mental wellbeing.
4. The content of most schooling (especially early) is developmentally inappropriate
When I see the push to start everything earlier, I cringe. Every bit of research has shown that starting formal education later and allowing children to learn through play early is essential to really learning. Children in Kindergarten don’t need to know how to read. Some might naturally be doing this, and that’s okay, but forcing it because we’ve seen in research that children “can” do it (even if they aren’t totally ready) isn’t great at all. We can all often do things outside of what we are capable of, but learning it at that point, when we haven’t mastered the foundations or don’t have the neural capacity, is idiotic. Waiting for children’s brains to be truly ready to master a new task is essential – especially tasks as important to our society as reading, writing, or math. Equally oddly, schooling then seems to assume our children are idiots later on (maybe we’ve made them that way) and the curriculum often falls on the side of too easy for a child that is working from a developmentally appropriate place.
Homeschooling means we can follow a developmentally-appropriate curriculum.
5. We want to follow our daughter’s lead
There’s nothing like watching your child discover a passion and be able to roll with it with her until she loses interest (which may be years or never!). Not only is it amazing to watch the excitement your child develops over learning, but you know that when she learns something it’s going to be stuck. When she learns for herself, she will truly be learning. She won’t learn to regurgitate information on a test and then forget it; she will learn because she wants to learn. And here’s the secret that many parents have forgotten: Children want to learn. They so desperately want to explore the world and figure it out – we humans just seem to have this knack. Sadly, children lose it when learning becomes a chore (but you can reclaim it by following their lead, even if it’s just outside of school), but if you can keep that curiosity alive in them, you can watch them learn a ton with just a bit of guidance. Homeschooling allows us to go this route: Follow our daughter as she finds passions and we have to work ourselves to fit concepts into things she’s already interested in (instead of asking her to try and be interested in something because it’s on the agenda for the day).
6. We really want to be involved in our daughter’s education
Yeah, you can join the Parents’ Association or volunteer in the classroom, but you really are just an observer to what your child is doing. And if you see behaviours you don’t like in the school or a teacher who’s calling it in, there really isn’t much you can do. We view our job as parents to prepare our children for life. As such, education is a huge part of this.
If we lived in a place where we felt the schooling was developmentally appropriate and included lots of breaks for physical activity (like many schools in Europe) or we could afford some of the private schools that take this approach, we might consider it and then get involved as volunteers.
However, for us, being hands on is very important and homeschooling is one way we can be involved in our child’s life and learning.
7. We value one-on-one attention for learning
The amount of time it takes to teach a child something when you are working directly with them is far less than when you have to speak broadly to 20 other children as well. In the latter case, you need to take all kids into account and explain it in a way that most of them will get. One-on-one you get to tailor your explanations to that particular child. Of the families we know that homeschool, they spend a fraction of the time doing official schoolwork with their children and their children end up ahead. That’s a win-win in my books.
Is homeschooling for everyone? Nope. Some won’t feel confident in their abilities to teach their children. Some don’t have jobs or situations that would allow for it. Some simply aren’t interested in it. But those of us who are doing it aren’t trying to shelter our children, we don’t hate teachers, and we have very legitimate reasons for wanting to go this route. So please don’t worry about my child. Worry about fixing the school system that is causing so many people to look at alternatives to the public schooling that was once considered a great fixture of modern society.
Originally published here.
Tracy Cassels, PhD is the Director of Evolutionary Parenting, a science-based, attachment-oriented resource for families on a variety of parenting issues. In addition to her online resources, she offers one-on-one support to families around the world and is regularly asked to speak on a variety of issues from sleep to tantrums at conferences and in the media. She lives in Prince Edward County, Ontario, Canada with her husband and two children.
