The key areas that improve are working together with the aid of the system. You learn how each other ticks and have fun doing so. It is lighthearted and easy, even when you’re discussing the max big feelings of a 5 – it is diffused because EVERYONE is sharing and no one is in the spotlight. It is a mutual, loving, caring exploration.
Alongside the 1-5 scale is a key set of reconnection regulation exercises that take less than 30 seconds to do. These are the skills that work, only if you do them! But if you do them, they will work.
Vanessa wanted to create a programme that centred around the communication system but delivered key lessons that do so well with children, so her Family Programme was born. What is really beautiful to bear witness to, shares Vanessa, is the way each family member starts to be appreciated by the others, and this builds confidence and self esteem. In one of the four sessions, Vanessa has a great story – ‘thought meanies’ – and what to do in order to reduce this critical thinking. The ‘discovering your potential’ lesson is always an absolute delight to do and seeing everyone thinking about each person’s qualities and how they can bring that to the workplace is very touching.
Our communication system helps families to share how they are feeling by creating clear, simple non-verbal ways to express initially, so that sharing yourself and being vulnerable with your family becomes easier.
By using consistency in the ways we communicate, we support our children to feel met and safe. These moments to check in with themselves and how they feel are an important mental health and well-being skill. The sharing with others and seeing how others also feel different on different days normalises feelings. The use of the showing on their hands what they are feeling from the scale 1-5 is easy for them to communicate visually and physically. Crucially, being non verbal so this is totally universal, anyone can use it successfully. The key is the regular drawing out as a family, sitting down together drawing how you have been in the day or in that moment and everyone looking at your drawing and then commenting on it, asking questions, hearing you share. These are all very powerful tools.
What is expressed is diffused, felt and can be let go of – this is essential for good mental health and wellbeing.
Vanessa works with families all around the world via Zoom and in person in New Zealand and Australia. Get in touch with her on +64(0)27 2647200. Visit the Light Education Training website to find out more.
