If You’re Still in the Thick of It
If you’re in the babywearing, night-waking, clingy toddler stage… this is your sign:
You’re not doing it wrong.
You’re not raising a child who will “never let go”.
You’re laying the groundwork for confidence, trust and true independence.
All that closeness? That constant touch, that intuitive responding, that bone-deep exhaustion?
It matters.
It becomes the foundation they’ll stand on when they’re ready to fly.
One day, they’ll walk away from you with confidence – and it will hurt.
But it will also fill you with pride.
Because they knew they could come back.
And that’s the whole point.
References
Ainsworth, M. D. S., Blehar, M. C., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of attachment: A psychological study of the Strange Situation. Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.
Bowlby, J. (1988). A secure base: Parent-child attachment and healthy human development. New York, NY: Basic Books.
Feeney, B. C. (2007). The dependency paradox in close relationships: Support seeking, dependency, and psychological health. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92(2), 268-285. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.92.2.268
Maté, G., & Neufeld, G. (2004). Hold on to your kids: Why parents need to matter more than peers. Toronto, ON: Vintage Canada.
Neufeld Institute. (n.d.). Cultivating independence: A paradox. Retrieved from https://neufeldinstitute.org.
Cayla Solomon is a Certified Holistic Family Sleep Coach and the founder of Sleeping Beauties, where she helps families improve sleep without separation-based methods or traditional sleep training. Her work is rooted in attachment science, nervous system health and practical, responsive support for parents in the thick of it. You can learn more at www.sleepingbeauties.ca or on Instagram @officialsleepingbeauties.
