What did you feel, if anything, was lacking in the support and preparation for this momentous experience called parenthood?
No one warned us it would be so incredibly hard and confronting! Everyone is so excited and positive when you say you’re having a baby, but no-one pulled us aside and said “So, just so you know…there will be times when it feels like an evil puppeteer is pulling your strings in the deep hours of the night and you will be so sleep deprived you will feel like you’re legitimately going insane and screaming and punching the wall will feel like the only logical thing to do. Oh, and also you’re opening yourself up to the world of judgement, projection and competition between mothers you normally wouldn’t be in the same room with.”
How do you feel motherhood changed you? Your career?
Motherhood has confronted me with all sorts of emotions and behavioural patterns that I didn’t know were in me. Having kids is like having two little mirrors reflecting back all your unprocessed life lessons and forces you to have accountability. I’m still learning to let go of teaching lessons and just flow with the energy that exists in the present. It’s a blimmin’ hard job! In terms of my acting/writing career I think motherhood has allowed me go much deeper into the characters I play and the way I view the world. Also it’s nice to be able to focus on a single thing for a day! You appreciate the space to focus so much more, so you do focus so much more!
Were you lucky to have support structures like the “mummy village” or “mummy tribe”? Did you feel you could be open about the highs and lows of motherhood?
I was lucky enough to live close to my best friend who had already established a community of kick ass women who could talk openly about the light and dark of motherhood. I just jumped in and got cosy. I also have three sisters who were all raising kids of similar age. I seriously think I would have lost the plot if I didn’t have my village of mums’ help, through the first few years. So much blood, sweat and tears were shared between us. The support of like-minded women is invaluable on so many levels.
So what’s next for you?
We’re just in post-production of a web series called Burnt Chops. Written by Jane Ballentyne who played Karen in the film. The story follows six mothers as they leave a coffee group. It’s very funny in parts but has the ability to go much deeper into the lives of these mothers as they battle relationships, PND, single motherhood, allergies, living with mum, etc. I’m really proud of it and will keep you posted!
About Tess Jamieson-Karaha
Tess gained a BPA from Toi Whakaari in 2010 and has worked as a professional actress in the TV, film, theatre and radio industries ever since.
She has many screen and theatre credits including Seed by Elisabeth Easther at circa in 2015; playing Lisa in Desperate Huttwives in 2017 at the Hannah Playhouse; and picking up a best actress nomination in the Rome web awards for her role as Beth in the web series Potluck by Ness Simons (head tutor at the film school). Potluck has gained 8 nominations worldwide and had over 2.6 million views, making it to number 6 worldwide on the Youtube channel web series list.
Her solo show Please Help Yourself was transcribed for Radio New Zealand in 2012 and is set to be filmed at Te Auaha this year in collaboration with Ness Simons and Robin Murphy.
Tess produced, wrote and performed in her short film Coffee Group which was nominated for an online audience award as part of the Promofest Short of the Year competition in 2016. She is currently producing her next film project, a web series called Burnt Chops.
You’ll also hear her voice on the radio, in schools, and on TV adverts as she is a regular voice-over artist for NZME, School Journals and Clemenger.
Sabrina Scalfari is co-founder of Well Made Mama along with Megan Connolly, a website devoted to helping women explore the way the science of human behaviour can help a modern mother adapt to her new role. Well Made Mama believes that child care begins with mother care, and that the health of the world begins with the health of its mothers.
