Our Role is Not to Talk Our Children out of Their Feelings

Photography:Rachel Burt Photography

By Mariana Castaman

We are flooded in our own feelings and thoughts, and suddenly, without warning, a scream breaks through our quiet rumination over something we should have let go. 

It’s unconscious, but real. We have no idea why we get so distressed over the thoughts we were processing but no longer remember. We get caught up on the fact that we were interrupted. 

“What was I thinking?” The cry continues. 

On top of that brain confusion, thoughts, tasks, social media, news… the scream. The demands. The requests. The house, dishes, uncertainty. 

It is overwhelming!  

The amount of advice on how to tame tantrums, what to do and what words to say either help parents or end up generating more insecurities.  

Most parents come to me with similar questions “I am following all gentle strategies, why is it not working? Why can I not get my child to stop throwing tantrums?”  

As a society, we became so focused on finding ways to manage things that we forgot our children are not manageable.

They are humans, full of emotions just like us.  

We can’t stop anyone from feeling, and that’s one of the reasons why strategies to tame tantrums are short lived.  

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