By Fiona Ng
Many of us are now in a position where our children are going to be home with us over the next few weeks/ months during this time of uncertainty and for some this can be extremely anxiety inducing. Having good routines and habits is what keeps our lives predictable and what helps us feel safe and secure. Strip that away then what are we left with?
Well – the one thing that truly matters in the world.
Family and connection.
We are being forced to look at how we live our lives and we are being forced to confront ourselves.
We are being forced to be conscious.
Often we have our lives set up on autopilot. We have unhealthy ‘coping mechanisms‘ which means we can run away from ourselves.
We can distract ourselves by being a workoholic.
We can ignore evaluating our lives by always being busy socialising.
We can create a false illusion of control by over scheduling and over structuring our weeks by rushing from activity to event, always being on the go which leaves room for not much else.
Now we have been pushed to slow down and we are being forced to really look within.
I believe there is no greater time to step into being a conscious parent and this is what our children need. So how can we ensure we are being conscious parents? I’m offering some pointers below.
- Be a conscious observer – being a conscious observer requires you to step outside of yourself and look at the bigger picture. It requires you to be conscious of your thoughts, your inner dialogues, whilst also observing how you are engaging with your children. It is only when we observe ourselves that we can become self aware and it’s through this awareness that we can create change. I want to invite you over the next few weeks to create notes (either in your phone) or in a journal and ask yourself the following questions.
“What worked well today?”
“What didn’t work well today?”
“How did I feel today?”
“How did my child feel today?”
“If I could have done today better I would have….”
“The strongest feeling I experienced today was….”
“The strongest behaviour my child had today was…”
These questions are just a very basic starting point to almost get you to evaluate and asses the day that has just gone by. Over time you will start noticing patterns and when you are able to recognise these patterns you will see where you can make changes.