2) JUST NOTICE
Speaking of magic – and its wily ways – sometimes you have to wake up to it. It means being mindful, and that can be a loaded word these days. You don’t need a meditation practice. Just observe. When does the whining stop and the giggling begin? What happened in that moment? When is everyone content? When do you feel content? Those are all magical moments, quiet and quick as they can be. My son was interested in guitar chord sheets before he was interested in letters. Once my daughter learned to draw on her body, there was no need for paper anymore. Ellen Langer, professor of psychology at Harvard University and author of many books on mindfulness, challenges readers to notice five new things about their family members. Simply noticing can renew relationships. It might also give insight into the way your children will learn and what they are most passionate about learning.
You don’t need a meditation practice. Just observe. When does the whining stop and the giggling begin? What happened in that moment? When is everyone content?
3) PROCESS OVER PRODUCT
Once you have noticed that precious magic, don’t stop it with an expectation of how it’s supposed to look. Value connection over making something Pinterest-worthy. I remember making a stenciled t-shirt once with my son when he was three or four years old. He was so visibly enjoying himself until I gasped when his paintbrush got out of the lines. Magic over. Years later, after I learned that lesson, I let my three-year-old daughter have her way with paper and tape and hole punchers. Her self-directed abstract art got lots of “likes” on social media. They had no point whatsoever, except now that I could recognize her delight. No instructions necessary, except get out of their way.
Value connection over making something Pinterest-worthy.
I’m still getting in their way. And mine too. I worry about not giving my children enough structure or new learning opportunities. I suppose that their every bad mood or lack of manners reflects on me. In other words, I am far from mastering this lesson. But I have learned that most new skills require repetition and lots of positive encouragement. Unfortunately, my son cannot conjure a golden eagle every time I need it. It’s OK though, now I see the magic in getting ourselves to smile.
Holly Jones is a homeschooling mom to two children. She recently moved with her family to a 50-acre farm in Beavercreek, Oregon where they hope to be creating a lot of magic and vegetables. You can find some more of her musings about homeschool life at www.lookseecreative.com.
