It goes without saying that these examples make me a worthy candidate for the world’s worst pre-baby human contest 2019 (which isn’t yet but should be a thing). They do not sit well with me in my newly acquired role.
Somewhat (ok actually completely) hypocritically, I now am quick to judge those who dawn my former pre-baby persona. “The cheek”, “who does she think she is?”, “a hand would be nice”, “are you kidding me?” and “she has no idea” are the only regular internal thoughts politically correct enough to write on this blog but “f*** me dead” there are so many others.
However, I know from now being on the receiving end that I am not the only one who conducts myself in the thoughtless fashion I once did.
It is those who make life unnecessarily difficult as a mother.
If I can impart any wisdom from my experience pre and post baby to the public it would be:
1. Any help offered by trustworthy looking members of the public to a mother in need is always appreciated. And for the record men, whether the offer is entertained is not the point.
2. If a mother turns down your assistance, persist once more (but only once because any more and you become a weirdo/creep/threat #overprotectivemother), because normally the mother needs to overcome her mum pride and chances are she didn’t hear you the first time in her #hotmess state.
3. Never underestimate how long it can take a mother to get her child or children in and out of a stationary vehicle, or the mental build-up required prior to the shopping excursion.
The baby on board sticker is not put on the vehicle for a laugh. It’s one of the very many methods us mothers use to get as much help as we can from the public.
4. Absolutely never make judgment about a mother and a baby on a plane. Chances are she is as anxious as the pilot would be with a terrorist onboard.
I look back and question how I could have been so naive and thoughtless. My only excuse can be that I had no real reason to think about anyone other than myself prior to Lottie. With Lottie in tow, I now have no time to think about just myself. Go on, say it: It serves me right.
After the birth of her little girl, Lottie, in December 2018, Emma Heaphy’s life completely changed. It sounds cliche, but it is her reality. Formerly a career driven family lawyer with massive goals and an unhealthy work life balance, the slow paced, messy mum life was what she needed to stop her in her tracks and allow her to regroup, slow down and just appreciate the small things in life.
She is now proudly a stay at home mum and in the last few months has reignited her passion for writing. She is no longer using her words as evidence, time recordings or file notes as she did as a lawyer but as a way to record her journey through motherhood, pregnancy and everything between. She likes nothing better than recording her thoughts, motivations, pet peeves, highs and lows through real, raw and unfiltered articles, poems and memes about raising her daughter on a farm in New Zealand.
She blogs through her instagram @hangingwiththeheaphys, her Facebook page and her website www.hangingwiththeheaphys.co.nz.
