You won’t always be this little

Photography:Lindsay Warland Photography

By Lacey Owen

You’re snoozing in your favourite spot, head resting on my chest, boobs providing the perfect pillow.

I should be transferring you to the cot, hell I’d be able to get a lot more done but you’ve got the rest of your life to sleep in a bed and I don’t want this stage to end just yet. Right now you’re the safest you’ll ever be, engulfed in my loving protective arms and I find myself wishing life came with a pause button.

I love how you lay perfectly in my lap long ways so I can play peekaboo from behind your tiny tootsies.

The way your mouth breaks out in a gummy smile whenever my face appears over your cot.

The way your silky smooth skin is blemish free, still perfect and untouched from the worlds harsh elements.

Your tiny fingers wrapping around one of mine, you’re holding your entire world, your lifeline, protector, warmth and comfort. We are each other’s whole worlds.

How you smile in your sleep. I long to know what you’re dreaming about my darling.

The way you cry out for me. How your lips quiver and turn upside down before bursting into tears, then feeling your body relax when you’re nestled into my neck instantly calmed.

The way you sigh as if the weight of the world is on your shoulders.

The way you arch back and stretch in complete contentment with milk still dripping from the corner of your tiny mouth.

Your scent. If I could bottle it up I’d be a millionaire.

The way you smile when I position you in the rugby hold. Your arms flailing and legs kicking, excited for what’s to come.

Hearing the gulps of milky goodness in the dark quiet hours of the morning while the rest of the household sleeps.

Your coos and goos. In those moments you’re trying so hard to mimic my mouth that your tongue appears too big for yours. Your eyes water and nostrils flare before a gummy smile forms and a gorgeous squeal escapes those perfect lips. I need to record this sound; I want to remember it for the rest of my days.

How an entire day of catnaps, poo explosions, tears from each of us and wondering if I’m getting any of this right can be undone by a single smile. And in that moment, I know I’m doing okay. It may not be perfect in the eyes of the world but our world is perfect.

So for now, even though you’re snoring sweetly, fast asleep on my chest, I’ll push ‘next episode’ on Netflix, hunker down and savour these snuggles, for you won’t always be this little.

Originally published here

Lacey Owen is a busy mum of three gorgeous children who provide the basis of her blog Laced with Love Experiences along her journey to becoming a mother and all that motherhood entails such as miscarriage, ill babies, secondary infertility and raising young children. She works part time as a health professional and loves nothing more than creating memories with her young family at many beaches in the winterless north of NZ.

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