I have seen what birth can be like when women are genuinely given the time, space and quiet they need to allow their birth story to unfold in its own time. I have observed how unhurried, unpressured midwifery care during labour can be more effective than any analgesia. It is the most beautiful, gracious gift to witness a woman transition into a new mother in her own time and in her own way.
And yet…
I don’t need to go into the details; everyone knows how broken the maternity system has become. The damage and repercussions are unquantifiable. So often, birth is rushed and over-managed and women are denied the chance to connect to their innate feminine intuition, to navigate their primal instincts and truly know themselves.
Women are all too aware of the pressure on all maternity services and the negative impact that is having on women’s experience of birth.
More and more women are reclaiming their right to a positive birth, with many now choosing to hire a doula or birth coach to accompany them during labour, to provide advocacy, support, encouragement and reduce unnecessary intervention.
Others, with the financial means, opt for private obstetric care to ensure their preferences and requirements are met.
A womans birth experience should not be dependent on her financial resources or her postcode. Every woman has the right to be seen and heard, and every birth matters.
I wanted to do something to help. I thought about my own births, and what had helped me. Although, on paper, my births sound dramatic, difficult and even traumatic, they were still positive experiences.
On reflection, I feel that the reason for this is that I had one thing no one could take away from me, even when everything was going off course, and that was ME!
I had prepared for my births, I knew what to expect, I knew how I could help myself when the time came. I had learnt during my pregnancy how to stay calm and present and how I could help myself and my labor to progress well. I had practiced yoga, I had practised breathing, relaxation and visualisation, and most importantly I had learnt to believe in myself.
Could I help other women in the same way I had helped myself? Could I remind women that they are amazing, that their birth matters not only to their present-day self and to their future-self? Could I find a way to let women know, that despite being conditioned to believe, we need to look outside ourselves for support and guidance, there is so much we have within ourselves?
I reflected on my experience after 17 years of midwifery practice. I drew on my learning and observations from teaching pregnancy yoga for the past five years, including breathing and moving for birth.
I drew on my personal experience of birth (3 extremely different births, twin emergency c-section at 30 weeks’ gestation with a cervix that was fully dilated, a VBAC, high forceps in theatre, at 40 weeks, and a spontaneous vaginal birth on all fours at 38 weeks).
I pulled together all the information I thought was essential for every woman to know about labour, what they can expect and how they can help themselves.
I removed all the medical jargon and fun facts (everyone loves a fun fact – like baby is around the size of a grapefruit when they are 23 weeks’ gestation – fun yes, helpful for birth – no).
I came up with Be Your Own Doula-a birth preparation app, concise, fun, easy, focused, accessible and inclusive-in one easy app, with one mission: to help women to have a positive birth.
I know Be Your Own doula is not going to fix a broken maternity system, but it is my hope that it will strengthen a woman’s belief in herself and provide her with tools to help her birth experience to be a positive one, and one that she is happy to remember for years to come.
Be Your Own Doula is available on App Store and coming soon to Google Play. Follow their journey on Instagram @beyourowndoula
