How Motherhood Defines Me

We live a society where this sort of thinking (feeling, really) is taboo. We, as feminists, as educated women, should not be defined by motherhood. We are not just here to carry babies in our belly’s, give birth, breastfeed and cook dinners. We should want careers, have dreams outside of our homes and should feel okay to be apart from our families.

A lot of women will say: “It’s not my job, family, house, accomplishments or friends that define me. It is a combination of all of these things.” And that’s probably a very healthy, balanced, approved way to feel and think.

But that’s not me. Yes, I love my friends and my work and like make-up and practice  yoga. But the thing that truly defines me – that gives me purpose in life, that brings me happiness – is being a mum.

I often feel like I need to say sorry for feeling this way. But I know I shouldn’t. Because I don’t judge women who don’t want to have babies. And I don’t think mums who want time consuming careers are bad mums. And I don’t think there is something wrong with mothers who say: “I need something more in life than just taking care of my kids”.

I think motherhood comes in all kinds of shapes, shades and sizes and we should celebrate all of them.


Kari writes over at Columnsbykari.com – where you can find articles on parenting, style, beauty and health. She writes about breastfeeding, baby wearing, pregnancy, being a working mum, her love for make-up, skincare and fashion and her passion for yoga and eating plant based. You can also follow her on Instagram and Facebook

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