Until I moved into an apartment with no laundry. 4 dollars a pop at the launderette means that cloth diapers just aren’t feasible. Until my epilepsy meant that having a pain-induced seizure was a real option and I had an epidural. Until my boy hated being worn and I bought a pram.
And, the worst one of all, until my baby collapsed and was diagnosed with a congenital heart defect. After open heart surgery his vocal chords were too damaged for breastfeeding so formula it was.
Luckily, Jesse survived and thrived but the whole experience made me much more relaxed. I found a nice balance in my natural parenting quest and my new natural parenting parameters became a lot more fluid.
The cloth diaper dream didn’t happen, the cotton baby carrier has been relegated to the cupboard but here are my natural parenting successes:
- Minimal plastic and clutter: It might be a well-meaning gift or hand me down but I give away most plastic toys. It clutters my apartment and stresses me out.
- Breastfeeding: When Jesse came out of hospital he was given the all clear to breastfeed and it just works for me. I’m not a very precise person so it fits to just whip a boob out whenever rather than time bottle feedings.
- Co-sleeping: After three months of sleepless nights standing over the cot trying to coax my baby to sleep, I started co-sleeping and my sanity returned when I got a full night’s sleep straight away.
Most of all, the parenting journey comes with the realisation of how damn hard it is to do things 100% on your own terms. You get unwarranted comments and opinions all the time, people disagree, life gets in the way or you simply don’t have the time to keep things totally how you imagined. But that’s okay. Babywearing didn’t work for me but breastfeeding did. Cloth nappies weren’t an option but minimalism on the baby accessories was. It all balanced itself out, naturally.
In my mums group we are all so different in our approaches to our babies. Some of my new mum friends approach things in the exact opposite way to me: with every baby gadget under the sun, going back to work straight away, formula and baby in their own room. We all want what is best for our little ones and what that means to you is a personal thing. What we have in common is happy bubs and the start of a new and ever-unfolding journey that is parenthood.
Camilla Ker is a freelance writer specialising in self-sufficiency and alternative lifestyles. She likes traditional skills, foraging for food and making home brew. See more of her work at www.clippings.me/camillaker
