My Top Ten Tips for Mums With New Babies

I HIGHLY recommend staying away from social media and Dr. Google in the first year. It is important for a mother to find her own way without feeling pressure from others to do something that doesn’t feel right.

Social media is also not friendly to new mums. We see pictures of perfectly put together mums just hours after having a baby. This is not the norm. I HIGHLY recommend staying away from social media and Dr. Google in the first year. It is important for a mother to find her own way without feeling pressure from others to do something that doesn’t feel right. It is hard enough to get through the first year (it actually doesn’t get any easier as they get older but that is a whole other blog post) but to be constantly comparing your baby to others or your life to the picture-perfect Instagram mum is enough to take all the joy out of being a mother to a new baby.

I run a really great FB group called, ‘Baby-Led Sleep’ where you can vent and share your sleep challenges amongst an amazing and supportive group of families.

As a side note, if you want a really great book about attachment, I would highly recommend Hold On To Your Kids by Gabor Mate and Gordon Neufeld.

5. CONNECT WITH AN IBCLC.

It is really so important to make sure that if you plan to breastfeed, you find someone who can support your breastfeeding goals. Make sure that they are listening and you are clear about how you are feeling throughout the process. If you are exhausted, and it is no longer working for you, let them help. If you feel like you can’t do it anymore, tell them to support you while you stop. Make sure that you are working with them as it relates to sleep as well. Within the first three months of breastfeeding, your supply is hormonally driven. After three months, it is based on how many times your breasts are being emptied. If your baby gives you longer stretches at night and you are missing those feeds, this impacts your supply. If you are feeding on a schedule, this impacts your supply. If your baby is distracted during the day and not eating as much, this impacts your supply. If your baby is waking up several times at night and eating, they might be doing their job – keeping up your supply. On a similar note, your body produces more milk at night because your prolactin levels are higher and therefore if baby is distracted during the day, or if you have started solids early and are using them as a meal (please do ask your LC about this), then they will eat more at night because it is dark, the snuggles are nice, and the milk comes more easily.

****Lactation Consultants are also a MUST SEE for any baby with colic or reflux. They will help you to figure out why your baby is “colicky” or why baby has reflux. They will look at your latch, your let-down, help to look for food allergies, etc. Use this resource.

6. AVOID OVERSTIMULTATION.

This really isn’t talked about much but I really think it is important to discuss it in this post. It is so easy to forget that babies are sooooo little and that everything is so new to them. Moving to a new room is a crazy experience for a one-month-old. Looking out the window is VERY stimulating. Going on a walk is stimulating all of baby’s senses – new noises, new smells, new things to see, even the outside air tastes different. We often times forget all of this and slip into the role of “director of amusement”, needing to stimulate babies with toys all day. For example, I see so many mums with bright plastic toys attached to their baby’s stroller – WHY? Looking at a tree is new, listening to the birds is new, hearing a dog bark is new. A toy is TOO MUCH. If baby cries and turns away from a toy on a play mat, we feel like they are bored of it and need something else. Maybe, just maybe, they are exhausted and overstimulated and need to just look at your face or move into a quiet dark place to wind down. I am talking about this because our daily activities impact sleep. A trip to the grocery store right before a nap might make for one very overstimulated baby – give them a longer wind down if you want them to nap.

7. TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR SLEEP ENVIRONMENT.

This is a really big one for new babies. You want to make sure that the environment is perfect. If it is too hot, your baby will not want to sleep. If it smells like cleaning products or any other strong scent, baby’s sleep might be interrupted. If you are turning on a night light to change a diaper, baby may not want to go back to sleep. If your child is highly sensitive and their PJs are itchy or have tags or the detergent you are using is bothering their skin, then this could impact their sleep. If your house is noisy around bedtime, consider a white noise machine. Is the air dry? Environment is really key to a good sleep.

8. USE MOTION NAPS FOR SLEEP.

Put your baby in a swing, use a carrier, go on a car ride (the car seat is not a safe place for a child to sleep so please transfer them when you get out of the car), get in the stroller. Babies loooovvveeee motion naps and they should be your go-to method if your baby just won’t sleep. Motion is actually really good for brain development.

Have a look at your lifestyle – do you like to get out of the house? Do you like to hike or walk as a family? If you do, you will want your baby to get used to sleeping in the stroller or in the carrier. Again, don’t worry that they will never sleep in their crib. Most babies that I work with before the age of six months need at least one motion nap a day, and I will say that it is rare to see a baby at this age taking all of their naps in the crib. Some babies before six months want nothing to do with naps in the crib and this is also OK. Switch up your naps – maybe you snuggle a nap, use the carrier for a nap, get out in the stroller for another nap. 

Most babies that I work with before the age of six months need at least one motion nap a day, and I will say that it is rare to see a baby at this age taking all of their naps in the crib.

One of my clients was joking with me the other day about how she has lost all of her baby weight because she had a reflux baby and needed to walk him in the stroller to get him to sleep. She and her husband have been laughing because it is the ONE and only good thing they could come up about reflux.

As a somewhat related note – motion naps are amazing for getting the last nap of the day as it is often so hard to get. 30 MINUTE NAPS FOR THE FIRST FIVE MONTHS ARE COMPLETELY NORMAL and are enough. Motion naps will help you get these little catnaps. Your baby might take 8 x 30 minute catnaps in the day and that is completely fine.

9. LOOK FOR THE SMALL SUCCESSES.

It’s really important not to focus so much on the bigger picture when it comes time to living with a newborn. Maybe you got them to sleep in the swing for 20 minutes so you could take a shower (HUGE). Maybe they took a pacifier and looked comfortable for a few minutes (HUGE). Maybe you you found a great overnight diaper and they didn’t poo through their sleeper (AGAIN – HUGE).

10. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

Please, please do things for you and ask for help. It is so important to take a walk or go get a coffee or enjoy a glass of wine. Ask your parents or your husband to help, even if it is only for an hour so you can shower and blow-dry your hair. Your baby may cry because you aren’t there but if your child is in the arms of someone who loves them, and you need an hour to yourself, they are absolutely fine to cry and be supported. It is REALLY important that you are in a good headspace when you are with a newborn baby.

You cannot take care of your baby if you do not take care of yourself. We do self-care for our children and our family. We come back in a better headspace and are much more patient and understanding when we have taken care of ourselves. You also do not want to model self-sacrificing behaviour as this is not what you would want your child to do when they grow up. They need to know the importance of caring for themselves.

Don’t worry if your baby misses a nap in their crib because you want to get out of the house and meet a friend – just go and enjoy.

It is really important to know that lack of sleep and hours of crying almost certainly will trigger some form of Postpartum Depression in women. Please don’t be ashamed or embarrassed. Seek help.

So, now that I have basically told you to do what your gut tells you and ignore the advice of anyone when it comes time to sleep, you might wonder why I would offer a Newborn Sleep Course (for babies under six months). Well… it is to support new mums through the challenge of having a newborn, to help build them up and to help grow their confidence. Because I am working towards becoming an IBCLC and my partner is an IBCLC we have included a complete sleep and breastfeeding/infant feeding course that will cover:

  • Sleep Associations
  • Sleep Science
  • Everything you need to know about breastfeeding and feeding in the first 6 months
  • Sleep Environment
  • Routines and Patterns
  • Temperament
  • And so much more!

You can sign up for this course here – http://www.islagrace.ca/services0-5months/

Last thing is just to tell you that you are doing a wonderful job. You are the absolute best person to be caring for your baby. The first six months are SO HARD. Hang in there, don’t be afraid to ask for help and make sure that you take time for YOU.


Originally published HERE.

Lauren Heffernan, founder of Isla-Grace, is a certified sleep and well-being specialist and certified sleep educator. After giving birth to her first daughter, Grace, Lauren learned the many challenges of navigating motherhood. These included the multitude of books, information, and people with strong opinions on the right way to be a mother. She quickly learned that the best parent to her child was herself and that in trusting her instincts, she would never go wrong. With this belief, and after certification with the International Maternity and Parenting Institute’s Maternity and Child Sleep Consulting Program, Bebo Mia’s Infant Sleep Educator Program and Mohawk College’s Breastfeeding Program, Lauren launched Isla-Grace and co-created the Baby-Led Sleep Approach. She provides information and support to women at different stages of motherhood and walks each one through the personal journey to become a more confident mother.

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