And, it wasn’t just women with the highest amount of conflict who were affected.
Those who said they had moderate levels of conflict had twice the chance of experiencing depression over the next 21 years than conflict-free women. That is still a substantial risk.
Conflict Compared to Other Life Factors
There were other life factors that placed women at risk for depression in the 21 years after they had their baby. Women who hadn’t completed high school, who had lower incomes when their baby was born, who had stress or anxiety in pregnancy, who had pregnancy complications and who had fewer friends and less friend contact were more likely to experience depression, too.
But, having a lot of partner conflict was by far the biggest risk factor for women’s depression in that 21-year stretch.
That is very telling. Relationship conflict matters for women’s long-term emotional health.
Winters Come and Go: Sage Advice
Last week, over dinner with a colleague, she mentioned a piece of advice that she heard from an elderly friend. Her friend said that we’ll see many winters come and go in our marriages, but that by the time you are her age, you stop worrying about the winters.
I love this advice.
Let’s not pathologise conflict. It comes and goes as a normal part of relationships. Let’s learn that lesson before we become elderly!
But, let’s not ignore the effects of long-standing relationship conflict. While I’ll come back to this in future blogs, most of the time, relationship conflict is more about who I am – how I see myself, how I feel threatened or betrayed, or how I feel unappreciated – than the other person.
For more reading:
Kingsbury et al. (2015). Trajectories and predictors of women’s depression following the birth of an infant to 21 years: A longitudinal study. Maternal and Child Health, 19, p. 877-888.
Originally published here.
Dr. Dawn Kingston, Canada’s leading expert on perinatal mental health and for over ten years, has been at the forefront of research on how to prevent postpartum depression. Her team has developed the HOPE App which is designed to significantly reduce prenatal anxiety and depression and directly support expectant mothers. They are studying it in a massive implementation study, one of the most ambitious projects of this type ever!
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