At midnight, I had another vaginal examination. I was fully effaced and 6cm. Our action plan was to have me moving more. I hadn’t eaten all day and wasn’t drinking as much as I should have. A posterior position in labour means that the baby’s back was facing mine. 90% of babies turn during labour but this often means the labour takes longer while the baby is moving into a better position. I found the back-pain exhausting and I had no urge to move, it felt like a huge mental effort to regain some emotional energy and keep on going. My ever-patient support crew took turns napping while we turned on the radio and had a dance party through the contractions.
I started to really doubt myself and my ability to understand and birth the baby naturally. I was so unsure what the pushing sensation was supposed to feel like, so after another examination, which revealed no progress after a night of active labour, I hit a wall.
At around 3.30am I was feeling a lot of pressure in my bottom, I started to really doubt myself and my ability to understand and birth the baby naturally. I was so unsure what the pushing sensation was supposed to feel like, so after another examination, which revealed no progress after a night of active labour, I hit a wall.
Jenny wondered if I was dehydrated, so she gave me IV fluids and we decided that if I hadn’t progressed in 2 hours then we would need to talk about heading to hospital. I was contracting every 5 minutes. I started to feel better in myself, and regained some more emotional energy to keep on going.
I was having increased pressure in my bottom and my contractions were getting stronger. At 8.30am I was 8cm and baby was doing well. I was moving around and trying various positions through contractions. The contractions were becoming even more intense and at 10.45am I felt ready to push. After a bit of stopping and starting to push I was once again checked. My cervix had an anterior lip and pushing was not helping this problem. I felt like I had to push and couldn’t stop my body from doing it. I started to doubt myself again, wasn’t I supposed to just push this baby out with no confusion? None of the birth stories I had read had been this long or felt this confusing. I started to feel disconnected from my body. Jenny wondered if it was time to call for the ambulance. I agreed, I just wanted it all to be over and done with.
