Do you have the right rules?
So I ask you…do you have rules in place? I am not talking about punishments that are thought up in the heat of the moment. I am not talking about threats that come out of your mouth during a confrontation.
I am not a fan of throwing something out that you can’t make happen or aren’t able follow through on.
For example, you might say if you hit your brother again, we are going to go home right now. This might not work if you’ve driven 2 hours to see your family, attend your niece’s birthday party, and really don’t want to leave. Now, you have thrown out the threat and it is going to be hard to follow through.
A better plan might be to set the rule that every time you hit your brother you will be expected to apologise and make amends, regardless of where we are, and you might have to spend some alone time until you are ready to apologise.
This rule, born from your family value of we treat each other respectfully, is easy to support, reinforce and follow through.
Your kids know what to expect. The steps will be the same each time. You can be calm and loving while holding the expectation that they will make amends for their actions.
Rules, rules, rules – when set up front, from a calm and loving place, make the peaceful world go ’round!
This is an extract from Lisa Smith’s guide to Peaceful Parenting During Uncertain Times
Lisa Smith is a Mum and Parent Coach who knows the joy of transformation, but really, she helps turn frustrated parents – who regularly default to yelling, threatening and punishing – into peaceful leaders within their households. As a former dominant parent, she found the path to Peaceful Parenting and is dedicated to helping other parents find their way too!
When she’s not coaching, you’ll most likely find her at a basketball game rooting on her son or travelling somewhere new. She is obsessed with cross-fit, personal development and romance novels. You’ll almost always find her with a Starbucks iced green tea in her hand.
