As destructive as it is to objectify others, the personification of things implies something similar. By holding material goods so important to our own identities, and so close to our hearts, we inherently lose a little human kindness. What would I do for you, you might ask, that I wouldn’t do for that delicious glass of red wine? Well, in fact, a lot! For example, say a train was coming and you were splayed helplessly over one track and a whole bottle, at peak vintage, lay across the other? I would attend to you and do my best to ensure that any red fluid splattered about in the wake of the train’s passing was only wine (even if I “loved” that wine and had never seen you before in my life).
…I think love, in the capacity that we know it, is uniquely human and might be cheapened if it’s not reserved for personal relationships.
So, even though I know that my ‘love’ for things and my ‘love’ for people have different properties, I also believe that what we say always matters, and that I probably don’t have any defensible reason for lending an ambiguous dual meaning to the powerful word love. Different types of love abound (between parents and their children, between old friends, siblings, spouses, etc.) – but I think love, in the capacity that we know it, is uniquely human and might be cheapened if it’s not reserved for personal relationships.
To my children: Love people openly, freely, bravely, as much and as well as you can; but save your love for people.
For myself, I hope that I can stay mindful of that sage advice from another mother. It’s an example I’d love, I mean, I hope to be able to set!
Nelle Myrica Donaldson is a writer living Berkeley, CA with her husband and three children. Her academic interests and expertise are in biology, psychology and anthropology, and she enjoys writing about the human experience through the lenses of parenting, science, and speculative fiction. www.nelledonaldson.com
