The drive: What challenges have you overcome?
One of the biggest challenges I’ve faced is imposter syndrome and self-doubt.
I hold a degree in education, I’m trained in adult teaching, and I’ve spent several years delivering parenting courses – both my own and established models. On top of that, I’ve got over 12 years of hands-on experience as a mum. And yet, there are still moments where I question myself. Should I have a psychology degree? Would that make me more “qualified” in the eyes of others?
It’s amazing how loud our inner critic can be, even when we’re surrounded by encouragement and positive feedback. Why is it so easy to tune into the negative voices? That’s something I think many of us wrestle with. But it’s also a reminder to be intentional about listening to the good – to the truth others reflect back to us, and to the value we know we bring.
For me, it always comes back to knowing who I am and why I do this work. I have formal qualifications, yes – but more importantly, I have a deep, lived understanding of what families need. I’ve seen how powerful genuine care and practical support can be. When your heart is in the right place and your intention is to uplift others, you’re making a real difference – often more than you realise.
Another challenge I’ve come up against is the lingering stigma around parenting courses. There’s still this unspoken assumption that if you go to a parenting course, it must mean you’re not a good parent. But I’ve always seen it the opposite way.
When my first child, Jack, was born, I had no idea how to be a parent. I sought out help – I asked experienced mums, read books, attended classes on how to settle babies, and enrolled in parenting courses. I didn’t do those things because I was failing – I did them because I cared. Because I wanted to learn, grow, and give Jack the best I could.
We need to shift the narrative around parenting support. Going to a parenting course doesn’t mean you’re not doing well – it means you want to do well. It means you’re learning, growing and showing up.
And to me, that’s exactly what makes a great parent.
We need to shift the narrative around parenting support. Going to a parenting course doesn’t mean you’re not doing well – it means you want to do well. It means you’re learning, growing and showing up.
For better or worse: What are the pros and cons of running your own business?
For me, one of the biggest pros is the flexibility. With four kids, that means I can go to school events, watch their sports games, see them at assembly, and even go along to school camps. I’ve always wanted to be able to share those moments with my kids, so it’s something I’m so grateful for.
But it’s not all sunshine and school runs! One of the challenges is that it can feel like every day is a work day. There’s always something I could be doing – sending an email, following up with someone, posting on socials, marketing the business… the list goes on. That’s why setting healthy boundaries is so important (and something I’m still learning!).
And speaking of socials… that’s definitely not my strong point! I really struggle to market myself. I’m a bit slack with posting – so if you look me up and don’t see much, sorry about that! I think part of it is that I want to be present with my kids. And when I do post, I find myself overthinking: Why didn‘t anyone comment? How do I get people to like it? … Ahhh, the mind of a mum, right?
If you’re a mum trying to juggle it all – the business, the kids, the endless to-do list – just know you’re not alone. I feel mum guilt often, and I have to keep reminding myself: it’s okay to take things one step at a time. Give yourself some grace. The way you show up, in your own unique way, is already more than enough.
Hopes and dreams: What next?
My hope is to see parents really thriving in their parenting journey. I want to help parents feel confident and truly believe that they’re doing an amazing job – because they are.
And if I let myself dream big… like really big… I’d love to see this course being used all over the country. Actually, why stop there? Let’s go big – worldwide!
Of course, it all starts one step at a time, one conversation at a time – but hey, big things often grow from small beginnings.
Visit the Together website to find out more, or email shell@togetherparenting.co.nz. You can also connect with them on Facebook.
