For mum-of-three Lyndsey Adderley, becoming a parent was a profound and life-altering experience. Following a traumatic birth, and despite struggling internally, she found herself masking how she was really feeling – a reflection of how society still struggles to hold space for the raw, honest experiences of early parenthood. Over time, she began to see the systemic gaps and unmet needs, especially for parents without strong support networks, those who had experienced trauma and those grieving loss. This realisation led her to train as a psychotherapist and counsellor, eventually leading to the creation of Insightful Life – a therapy practice and community built on compassion, affirmation and the belief that no parent should have to journey alone. She supports parents at all stages, meeting them exactly where they are, and walking alongside them as they rediscover their strength, purpose and voice. Here Lyndsey talks to The Natural Parent Magazine about the inspiration behind her business, the challenges she has overcome, and her hopes and dreams for the future.
The passion: What inspired you to set up your business?
Becoming a parent was truly life-changing for me – something most parents can relate to. One memory that really stands out from the beginning of my parenting journey (following a traumatic birth) is being given a questionnaire from the health visitor during a home visit about my mental health. I remember categorically lying. I ticked all the boxes I knew I should tick. On paper – I was thriving! In reality? Not so much.
I do think that society is getting a little better at having open and honest conversations about the challenges of becoming/being a parent, but there is still a huge stigma around admitting that you’re finding it hard. I guess in many ways, although I didn’t know it at the time, this was where my ‘inspiration’ came from. Over time, through more experiences, I realised this is where my passion lay – in supporting expectant, new, not-so-new, bereaved parents and especially those parents who hadn’t had the best parenting experiences themselves – in a thoroughly non-judgemental and affirming way.
The launch: How did you start out in the beginning?
‘Starting out’ came in many forms – it wasn’t something I woke up and suddenly decided to do. I’d always worked with children and/or parents, and even when I was at home with three children under the age of five, as well as delivering messy play sessions to my local community, I ran the local preschool committee, providing events and spaces for parents and children to come together.
What really took my path in a more specific direction was a bit of a collection of events really – there was a year in my life where, whilst in the midst of juggling three small children, my father died unexpectedly, and I then ended up going through a separation and divorce.
Suddenly, I found myself with a bit of a scattered support network and my mental health wasn’t in a good place. I sought out some counselling and it was the most eye-opening experience. I was fortunate to have an excellent therapist (I know this isn’t always the case) and started to move forwards, signing up for an introductory course for counselling.
Two more qualifications and five years later, I was a qualified psychotherapist and counsellor. Whilst in training, as well as the statutory client hours I had to complete, I worked for a charity supporting care-experienced parents (young parents who had been in foster care or children’s homes and were lacking a natural support network) and this is where my passion really started to take hold. The systems in place to support parents, especially those without a (functioning and healthy) support network were underequipped and just not meeting the needs of parents. And if we’re not meeting the needs of parents – what does that mean for our children and for our future societies?
This, alongside supporting some parents who’d suffered loss, really cemented my focus. I did some additional training in pregnancy and infant loss – and rainbow babies – determined to be able to support parents no matter where they were in their experiences.
The innovation: What was the biggest breakthrough for you with your business?
I feel like I’ve landed on my feet a lot (I can hear my clinical supervisor chastising me for not giving myself enough credit), Upon qualifying, I immediately went into working in private practice (alongside working as a counsellor for a charity) in a local, purpose-built clinic in Sandbach and I really found my feet here. However, last year, due to issues beyond anyone’s control, the clinic closed down – leaving me and my clients ‘homeless’. Here, I took a leap. Not finding anything suitable for the work I was doing (it needed to be a private, discreet location, without people coming and going through the building all day), I widened my search and ended up renting out an entire premises – I now have a small therapy centre, with 2 rooms and a communal area that I’ve furnished considerately so they are suitable for a variety of therapeutic approaches. Having my own space, and providing spaces for the therapeutic community, really gave me a push to lean into what I was passionate about.
Yin and Yang: How do you balance work and family?
If someone finds the magic answer for this, I’d love to hear it! For me, balance isn’t about everything in perfect alignment 100% of the time. It’s about checking in with yourself, recognising and having compassion for where life is at right now, and making adjustments if necessary (and if you’re able to!). It’s difficult, right? To ‘have it all’ really means making some sacrifices somewhere. Often, especially for us mums, that means sacrificing a little bit of ourselves. Of course, I endeavour to maintain this balance as best I can – but with two teenagers and a pre-teen, a business to run, a relationship to nurture, friendships to maintain and a home to manage…occasionally the washing basket overflows! I guess what I’m trying to say is, there’s no such thing as a perfect life. And that’s OK.
