By Courtney Garland, RN BScN IBCLC
I remember being pregnant with my eldest and being SO excited it was finally my turn. After over a decade of supporting expectant and new parents as a NICU Nurse, Sleep Consultant and Lactation Consultant, I felt so ready to embark on this journey of parenthood!
I enrolled in a prenatal class with my husband, and we went along to learn everything about birth and what happens after. We went through all the birth stuff first which was SO helpful. Tips for positions, breathing techniques, pain relief options, potential interventions, the role of support person, etc.
And then, it was over.
I remember chatting to hubby in the car on the way home as I felt confused.
Why didn’t we cover breastfeeding? So many new mamas and babies struggle to get the right latch and give up feeding earlier than they would have liked because of pain.
Why didn’t we talk about the infamous second night? It leaves new parents doubting themselves and wondering what’s wrong.
Why didn’t we discuss realistic newborn sleep expectations? Their sleep is NOT the same as ours and new mothers and fathers can become stressed when the exhaustion hits and they don’t know what to do.
There was A LOT we didn’t cover and I could see exactly why I had encountered so many brand new mamas through my work who felt overwhelmed, stressed and anxious, as so many of the classes available put so much emphasis on the birth, but barely touch on what comes after (if at all).
Why didn’t we talk about the infamous second night? It leaves new parents doubting themselves and wondering what’s wrong.
Even as a medical professional, I STRUGGLED in postpartum
After I got home with my first born, I encountered some of the issues that we’re all too often unprepared for. I remember sitting up in my room sobbing in pain as I tried to breastfeed my baby. Yes, even as a Lactation Consultant, I got mastitis and nipple thrush, and to top it off, my son had a tongue tie that made latching excruciating.
I knew how privileged I was to have the knowledge that I do through my education and work. But my heart broke for the parents who don’t go into this knowing what to expect and do. It’s no wonder why rates of perinatal mental health conditions are so high – 1 in 5 women will experience depression in the year after birth, and 1 in 10 new dads will also be affected in the period from pregnancy to the first year after baby is born.
A big part of this is the lack of support. The concept of the “village” helping to raise the child no longer fits with the way we raise our families today. We live in sprawling cities, we often don’t know our neighbours, our families may be far away, and our friends are juggling their own jobs and children.
We spend our entire pregnancy building up to this one momentous day: birth. And birth is important – we SHOULD prepare for it. But the truth is, we neglect postpartum. In fact, too often, we don’t even realise how unprepared we are until we find ourselves standing there holding our newborn babies with no idea what to do next. It’s scary, overwhelming and can feel extraordinarily lonely.
