Am I Being Punished for Attempting to Breastfeed My Child?

I live in a part of the world where breastfeeding is pushed by health agencies. Where slogans have been invented and repeated to us on loop. We are told about the so called “benefits” of breastfeeding (instead of simply being told it’s  what’s optimal and natural for humans). We are overloaded with information on how important breastfeeding is, but not given realistic expectations about how to do it! Where is the support to back the encouragement up?

The advice is hugely contradictary with what’s seen as socially acceptable! Socially, breastfeeding is stigmatised and abused, ridiculed and sexualised.

Mothers who are breastfeeding can face harsh criticism and then there is only minimal support from health professionals when things get tough.

Medical professionals who are fully capable of supporting breastfeeding mothers are few and far between!  The feeling of being pulled in all directions, and criticised by all camps, is a difficult one! This ongoing pressure to do what’s optimal followed by a lack of support is affecting the mental health and confidence of new mothers. 

You give birth to your child, this innocent little being who becomes your entire world. You get advised to do what’s best for you both and breastfeed. Some mothers go on to have a difficult journey, some may have excessive pain and inefficient latch, while others may end up having to be treated for mastitis or other breastfeeding related issues. You can feel something isn’t right but as a devoted mother, you push through the pain with minimal support. 

Everyone tells you the latch looks fine and that it will pass. You get told it’s normal. Many start questioning themselves. Should it hurt this much? It shouldn’t. 

Sometimes I feel strongly that as a society we encourage mothers to breastfeed, yet at the first sign of trouble, we retract the encouragement and withold the support. It’s almost as though mothers who choose to breastfeed and have any type of difficulties to do so get punished with lack of support and medical intervention. Suddenly, many suggest to give a bottle of formula to the baby!

But how is it that before a mother need any type of support, breastfeeding is all the jazz, but with the first little glitch, she gets told a bottle of formula will do the trick? Suddenly “fed is best”! 

It’s easy to see why many new mothers end up confused and distraught.

I truly believe that mothers are at risk of mental health issues – not as a result of pressure to breastfeed, but I believe the contradicting advice and hypocrisy mixed with a hefty dose of “no support” is what has a negative effect.

It’s like telling someone to fly an airplane with no wings. The support should be instant and constantly available.

Imagine if we recognised that ankyloglossia isn’t a trend, but a real and limiting condition, likely as a result of labour interventions and inductions. What if we trained enough professionals to fully be able to support and recognise a need to “snip“? What if we made these professionals available on  maternity wards to assess babies and mothers who were potentially struggling?

We can’t keep pushing breastfeeding as the optimal way to feed a baby yet not support mothers when there are issues restricting the success! 

A baby’s  mouth size shouldn’t be a valid excuse to deny support to a new mother.  

Further reading:  http://www.drghaheri.com/blog/2014/2/17/diagnosing-tongue-tie-in-a-baby-is-not-a-fad 


Originally published here.

The Gentle Mum is a woman, simply trying to manoeuvre through motherhood with empathy and respect. Between training to become a breastfeeding peer supporter, completing her degree in Youth and Child studies and pursuing her writing hobby, she can be found on the school run, flustered whilst trying to be the best mother she can possibly be. These are her thoughts and musings on life, alongside the ups and downs of motherhood. You can also follow her on Facebook and Instagram.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *