I asked her, “But what about the guidelines stating baby should always sleep in the same room as an adult for the first 6 months of life, during the day as well as night?”
The midwife shut me down, and dismissed my inquiry swiftly, carrying on her talk about routine.
Somehow this part of the sleep guidelines isn’t stated often enough.
The majority of mothers, although they are aware that baby should sleep in the same room as a caretaker for the first 6 months of life, have no idea that this guideline considers all sleep periods.
We rarely speak about how baby sleeping separated from a parent can increase the risk of SIDS regardless of whether it’s day or night. Somehow this detail gets passed over when we talk about the importance of sleep yet this is a crucial part of keeping our babies safe.
Of course, it is increasingly difficult to be completely child-led with all the outside pressures such as work and other commitments. Yet it’s hugely important to consider that humans have evolved, but brand new little babies are still very much so led by instincts. They are primitive. They know what they need to survive and they ask for it, some louder then others.
By assuming that all babies have the same needs we are neglecting to be responsive.
The best thing we can do as parents is to respond when needs are expressed and teach our little humans that they can trust us to be there for them.
The best thing we can do as parents is to respond when needs are expressed and teach our little humans that they can trust us to be there for them.
It’s exhausting and demanding but very much so worth it in the end. I sacrificed many evenings of “me time” and went to bed by 7pm to simply cope with what the next day involved, and I’m glad I did. I now have my evenings to myself and have no regrets over those years when I didn’t.
When I was sitting on that chair, in the circle of what I guessed an episode of parental “Judge Judy” would feel like, I was an outcast among the other mothers.
I was the only one who didn’t leave her baby in the cot, alone in a room.
Not because I couldn’t, but because I simply responded to my baby’s individual needs.
My daughter wasn’t “good” – she was awesome and that had nothing to do with her sleep patterns.
Sofie Thomson is a writer, breastfeeding advocate and (breastfeeding) peer supporter from Sweden, now living in the Scottish Highlands with her husband and children. Since completing her degree in Child and Youth Studies, she has focused on encouraging parents to follow biological norms and trust their natural parenting instincts via her blog – The Gentle Mum. You can also follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
