10) Tell her she’s doing a great job – every day.
Be specific so she believes you. Tell her, “I love the way you…..” Or “I love watching you…….” (fill in the gaps ). She will get loads
of advice but hardly anybody tells a new mum she’s doing a great job. And there’s not much positive feedback from a newborn – they can’t even smile yet! Remember, she’s exhausted, hormonal and vulnerable – she needs her tank filled to help her make it through the tough stuff.
11) Take photos of mum and baby
You will no doubt be taking photos of every little grimace your baby makes and every cute little outfit you dress him in. You will take photos with visitors, photos with relatives but so often, it is the mother who is taking most of the photos. Then, down the track, months later (or when your child looks through his photo album), you realize there are very few mum and baby pics. Get photos of mum and baby and of you both together with your baby – when these moments are gone, they are gone.
12) Hang in there
Babies cry. Babies cry – did I say that, already? Often you won’t have a clue why they are crying. Neither will she. So don’t ask, “what is wrong with him?” Remember she’s exhausted hormonal and vulnerable so she might take this as criticism. Instead, say, “how can I help?” You will both work things out as you go and it will get easier. For now, encourage your lady to trust her instincts – she knows your baby best. You are the voice of common sense (but tread carefully, you can’t ‘fix’ a baby). If you aren’t sure what to do, filter advice by asking, is it safe? Is it respectful? Does it feel right? Remember, you have got this. You are going to be an awesome dad!
Pinky McKay is an IBCLC Lactation consultant and best -selling author of Parenting by Heart, Sleeping Like a Baby and 100 Ways to Calm the Crying. She’s also the creator of Boobie Bikkies, all natural and organic cookies to support a healthy breast milk supply. See Pinky’s website here www.pinkymckay.com
Photography by Jenna Young
