I am a unique, beautiful and irreplaceable human. As are you. You deserve to be treated with kindness, care and love but it has to come from within you first. I lost sight of that concept in a big way. Beyond serving myself first, I serve my immediate family then work. In that order. They are not yet equally served and that’s OK for now.
As devastating as it was to have my life implode in many ways, there is wonderful stuff emerging. In many ways I was given a blank canvas. At times that’s been confronting, sometimes crippling to have no limits or boundaries. It makes for a vast amount of choice. I’ve been given the opportunity to re-build from the foundations up – with valuable life experience, insight into human behaviour and spiritual maturity. I have actively chosen to see the blessings of some incredibly painful circumstances.
I had to make a conscious decision to follow my intuition and my heart, and do only what felt right for me and the children even if that meant doing it differently to what society, family or friends say I should be doing. You could argue I am performing alchemy on my life. I wholeheartedly believe life has unfolded how it has so I have the courage to share with others what has worked for me, in an attempt to light up the road less travelled, and potentially course correct another’s life.
I wouldn’t wish what’s happened to me on another. The truth is much of what I’ve been through is common. I live by the philosophy that I’ve been given several challenges in quick succession because I have the archetypal patterning to cope and evolve through those challenges with grace.
The drive: What challenges have you overcome?
Gosh! That my life has not turned out how I expected it to.
It was incredibly difficult for me to hear and then accept, that I along with my children were victims of toxic emotional abuse. From the outside looking in you would never, never have guessed that. I come from middle class Australia – domestic abuse does not happen to women like me. Or does it?
It seems to me that we are not looking at long-term, low level trauma in a child’s life and how it directly impacts their behaviour, their ability to function on a day-to-day basis at a basic level. Instead, we react with punishment, isolation and more which only serves to perpetuate the problem. As adults we know when we are seen and heard we feel valued. There is calm within, we have the ability to cope with our emotions, to move through them until they have passed or resurface again.
We need to give more attention to emotional intelligence in our children. I wholeheartedly believe this is why we are seeing a steep increase in mental health and behavioural issues among our young. Globally, we are being challenged in a way to consider how best we can support sensitive children beyond punishment, pill popping and more. They are seriously gifted humans and will revolutionise much in our world for all if only we can unlock their beauty within. Instead of punishing negative or disruptive behaviour, we need to go beyond the behaviour and dive deeper into the why behind it. We need to ask: “what is happening for you, or to you, in your life for you to be behaving in such a way?”
It’s here we find the answers behind the behaviour. Where there is no answer then I want to say it’s a behaviour pattern you are born with and can be managed out of its shadow into the light. We should be learning this as children. Kids are king in my opinion. It’s time we give more attention to our young, the custodians of mother earth. They are our leaders right now, not when they are grown up.
I own that I was not meant to follow the well-worn path of a great Australian middle class married life. For a long time, I thought there was something wrong with me. Everything is exactly how it’s meant to be, in a perfect mess that is whole and complete as it is. I am OK, we’re doing great and everything moving forward will be OK, no matter how bad the external landscape gets. This too shall pass.
That’s not to say I can’t change my situation. I can, after all I’m not a tree – I can pull up stumps and move elsewhere figuratively speaking by way of making wiser, considered choices. I have free will, nothing was held to my head when making choices. If I hadn’t made those choices, I would not be here attempting to encourage others to try, use or do what I do so as to soften the blow, perhaps even help another’s life so it doesn’t head in the direction mine was going.
For better or worse: What are the pros and cons of running your own business?
You reap what you sow. Some might say it can be lonely. By design I quite enjoy time alone. I am discerning with who I give my time and attention to – time is precious. I can’t get it back once it’s passed. Stop, and reread that. Think about that for a few minutes – it might change the next choice you make about who you will surround yourself with next.
I’ve been given a blank canvas by way of an opportunity to create the job I want, and the life I want – It’s confronting being given that scope. Sometimes I find it overwhelming and find it puts me in procrastination paralysis. For now, I feel I have the pieces of my purpose puzzle… doTERRA essential oils, Rainbow Kids Yoga Training and Relax Kids Coach. A triad of skills and techniques that complement each other beautifully.
