During the most sacrificing of moments, I realize how much you still sacrifice for me. All day I listen to everyone else’s stories, their exciting news and achievements. I look at Lego castles, big jumps off of steps, and karate kicks in the air. I watch trees climbed and slides scaled the wrong way. I’m asked to watch and listen to what everyone else does, and after everyone is in bed, I have a sliver of time to remember me.
Sometimes I feel like I do the same thing to you. I call you and I can’t get the words out fast enough; all the things I want you to hear about my life. You’re the only one who listens attentively to my every word and feels excited for me like no one else does. Or at least you do a dang good job of making me feel that way. When we hang up the phone, I so often realize I never asked how you were doing.
You’re my safe place. You mother me even when I don’t know it. You make me feel so special, so heard, and I never appreciated it until this time in my life when I come last so often… until I realized how it felt to be on the other side; to be the safe place for someone else.
I used to think I had stopped needing you a long time ago, that I was blazing new paths you never took. And you let me believe that. Yet all the while you’ve been following along on the side, right out of eyesight; always there to help me get back up when I’ve fallen, just like you’ve done since I was a little girl. Thank you doesn’t even come close to expressing how I feel, but I just want you to know I see you now. I see you all day long, in my darkest hours and in my most blissful moments looking into the faces of my children. I see what you sacrificed and how much you loved. I finally see it, Mom.
This post originally appeared on Pig & Dac. You will also find Jessica on Facebook and Instagram.
“I’m Jessica. My two boys are almost 5 and 3, they’re two years apart exactly. I wrote about their home births here and here. Currently I’m in that torturous phase of being pretty sure I’m done having babies but pathetically weeping every time I come across a baby blanket or photo. It’s bad, ya’ll. Tell me it’s happening to you too?”
