Finding time for yourself as a parent

If we’re outside, we stop to make daisy chains and to examine bugs and beetles (Jack is much fonder of this activity than me). At the same time, I might be weeding a garden or mixing compost. Jack has his own trowel and he’s great at clearing an area ready for replanting. Delicate little seedlings are less safe in his hands, but I’ll leave that task for another day.

If we’re cooking, we make tiny biscuits for fairies or write our names in dough, as well as bake other things. Giving my child knowledge of ingredients and an understanding of where food comes from and how it is combined when we cook are really important things for me.

One of my proudest moments was when Jack was hungry one day and ran out to the veggie garden rather than to the fridge.

I saw him sitting on the edge of a raised bed showing his younger friend how to shell then eat early broad beans.

There is a lot of satisfaction to be had from the processes of stirring and tasting too, with the benefit of having delicious things for the family to eat, as well as knowing we have grown some of the produce that graces our table.

Jack also enjoys collecting the eggs from our chickens. Chickens are pretty funny creatures with wonderful personalities so getting to know a few of them a bit better can be great fun. They are the descendants of dinosaurs, so their scaly clawed feet hold endless fascination for Jack. The chooks are curious and rush about with funny wobbly runs and tilts of their heads. Ours are tame enough to pick up and cuddle and we stroke their silky feathers and listen to the soft clucking noises they make as they investigate the leftovers we’ve brought them to eat.

Having pets is such a great thing for kids; it teaches them about kindness and caring, as well as big concepts like life and death.

Last year, we buried a pet rabbit in the garden, with full funeral rites, poems and flower garlands.

Life can be rich and full of great joy and great sadness. I try and incorporate my passions and interests into my parenting and sharing all of that enthusiasm and my emotions (whether happy or sad) with my child… it’s a fabulous journey.


Deborah Hide-Bayne is a writer, photographer, artist and keen amateur cook. She lives in the Coromandel with her husband, her son, four chickens, one cat and 20 goldfish. She is the author of Coastal, living the coastal life, cooking for the coastal table. Check out her blog here.

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