- Totally exposed… or not?
Since weaning myself at nearly three and a half, I’ve taken on my mother’s strong support for breastfeeding as a normal and natural part of parenthood. She was a member of the Australian Breastfeeding Association (ABA) and fed all four children without fuss or much pause in between. So after giving birth to my first child, having my breasts exposed before several professional strangers and nipples squeezed accordingly, I was totally fine with public feeding, whether discreet or not. It was also one of the hottest summers I’ve lived through – no way was I considering using a feeding cover! That year I fed publicly through weddings, funerals, church, dinner at restaurants, concerts, you name it. Thankfully, I didn’t experience any openly negative responses. (Not so when attempting to change a pooey nappy at an unequipped restaurant!) Once baby number two was born, I even tandem fed him with my 18 month old during a church service. Tandem feeding is way – way – more exposing.
Since weaning myself at nearly three and a half, I’ve taken on my mother’s strong support for breastfeeding as a normal and natural part of parenthood.
However, despite not hearing negative responses, I was sensitive enough to see the discomfort of my brothers, the awkward eyes to the ceiling of male friends, the slightly nauseated expressions of some women. We also went overseas for a few weeks to a country in which women dress modestly as a matter of course, and children are a universally adored part of society. I felt a greater respect from strangers for my role as a mother, but yet also felt a greater responsibility not to flout their customs of modesty. This continued upon our return home, to the point where I now (literally just now) have run to put a jacket on over my pyjamas so the supermarket delivery guy won’t feel uncomfortable with my state of un-bra-ed-ness. Now feeding my third baby, I’m more discreet about what I wear and how I feed – though I’d still love to see another mum feeding anyhow and anywhere, just like I did as a new mum! I’m so grateful to live in a country where it’s fine to pull out a breast and feed anywhere, but I’ve also discovered I’m even more relaxed when helping those around me feel comfortable about it too.
I’m so grateful to live in a country where it’s fine to pull out a breast and feed anywhere, but I’ve also discovered I’m even more relaxed when helping those around me feel comfortable about it too.
- I don’t want to stop!
Okay, let’s be honest – I would love to give up those night feeds! But I actually find weaning one of the hardest things. Earlier this year I was expecting our third, while number two was about one and a half. We took his dummy away successfully (tick!), shifted him into a shared room with his brother (tick!) and I weaned him (tick!). I was relieved to have a dedicated milk supply for my daughter when she was born a few weeks later. Then my son turned two, and the molars arrived right on time. By that time the baby was four months old and in a solid feeding pattern, so I thought it couldn’t hurt…I tandem fed them. It was such an unparalleled comfort for my son, easing his pain and providing the precious mummy cuddles this middle child had been craving.
However, the terrible-two tantrums also arrived, right on time. His tantrums rapidly became linked with my ‘milkies’, which he sees frequently as I feed the baby. And then we got gastro. My body simply couldn’t sustain milk production sufficient for one baby, let alone her big brother as well. I’m conflicted and heartbroken that the swift arrival of a little sister has caused my little boy to have to stop milkies sooner than we’d both like.
But mummy cuddles are still freely available, and won’t ever be out of stock.
Anna Stoyanoff is the grateful mum of Ethan, Josiah and baby Adelaide. Parenting is her chosen occupation, with four years of non-stop pregnancy and breastfeeding so far. You can read more of her writing at My Chosen Occupation.
