If someone fell over and broke their leg, we would surely all run up and assist to help. We would ask, “are you hurt? Do you need an icepack? Do you need to see a doctor? Will I phone an ambulance for you?”
Can you imagine someone replying, “stop judging me, it’s not my fault I’ve broken my leg“. I mean,when asking if all aspects have been considered – aspects that could enable breastfeeding – is considered judgemental, surely asking the same line of questions for a leg that’s broken would be equally judgemental? It’s just another biological process that for some reason isn’t functioning ?
If someone gets given support and suggestions and then decide to use formula, then an educated choice has been made and this is something we should all strive to do.
By trying to offer you support and advice, I’m not criticising you; I’m simply trying to be a supporter of you – regardless of what choice you make!
A choice should however, be made with knowledge; knowledge is power.
I want to clarify that I do not hate formula; in fact, I love formula. It helped my daughter stay alive. If I needed to use formula again, I would. That’s not the issue here – the issue is that somehow, trying to support other mothers has been turned into something negative and that to me is infuriating.
When my second baby was due to be born, I asked questions and I searched out support. I was asked if I had tried certain things and if I had considered others and as a result of these lovely, caring sanctimonious mothers (I’m using this with love), I have been able to feed my son from my breast – a journey that has continued for 3 years and will continue until he is ready to wean. So to all you who offered me advice, knowing you could have been called “judgemental“- THANK YOU – without you, I wouldn’t have been able to do this for my son and for myself. Without your wisdom and support, I would have broken all over again.
Much love!
The Gentle Mum is a woman, simply trying to maneuver through motherhood with empathy and respect. Between training to become a breastfeeding peer supporter, completing her degree in Youth and Child studies and pursuing her writing hobby, she can be found on the school run, flustered whilst trying to be the best mother she can possibly be. These are her thoughts and musings on life, alongside the ups and downs of motherhood.
