I remember asserting control in the delivery room, attempting to ensure my baby lived. I cringe at the moment my partner was asked to leave the room and my midwife disappeared. The speed it all happened doesn’t dilute the state of emergency. I know other families aren’t as lucky as we are to watch our daughter grow up.
This time, doctors have afforded us the foresight to be prepared for an early birth. Statistically speaking, we are told, a second birth often occurs faster than the first. In other words, we might not have 90 minutes warning this time.
Well-wishing friends and family struggle through their own issues. Can I expect to burden their relentless work juggles with family, children and finances further?
Covid restrictions could render us relegated to hospital for a few days without leaving. Current rules require my partner to either stay or leave. There is no option for him to whip home and visit our daughter before returning to his parental duties at hospital, if the case may be. Our toddler isn’t welcome there either. If our second born spends time in NICU, time away from our daughter would likely be prolonged.
Statistically speaking, we are told, a second birth often occurs faster than the first. In other words, we might not have 90 minutes warning this time.
That is, of course, if we make it to the delivery room in time. On my last visit – one of just a handful due to Covid’s requirement to space visits farther apart – I was reduced to tears in the queue while orderlies read the rights of those before me. The wait was more than 20 minutes just to enter.
While I sit here writing, my daughter holds her favourite llama on the sofa across from me. She’s comforted without understanding of the changes on her horizon; content Mummy is nearby. Yet my heart is tormented by the prospect of being away from her.
Surely thousands of Kiwis are faced with this dilemma every day, many less fortunate than we are with kindness on our doorstep. But I am yet to reach a solution.
Perhaps traumatic memories of my daughter’s birth paired with Covid restrictions have complicated the decision. Whatever the case may be, our most vulnerable family member is the subject of an impossible decision. Am I best to birth alone or burden another?
Alex Myall is a writer and travel agent. Covid’s unpredictability has led her (like many New Zealander’s) to a place of continual deep thinking. Coupled with reduced travel and a growing toddler, her hope is to share with readers some of the everyday issues mums nationwide are faced with. And when borders re-open, resuming travel for their young family, they hope to share the world with you once again. www.chasingdreamstravel.co.nz
