Teach your boys to nurture themselves. Explore what healthy downtime might look like, how to be alone, self-soothe, how to take time out for themselves.
We need to let them fall out of trees, take risks and hurt themselves. We need to let physical pain teach them boundaries and their limitations while they are young so they can take risks and be fearless men.
We need to make sure they lose and fail, often, so they can learn how to recover, bounce back and self-care when they are men. So they can rise up instead of recoil, shrink and fall into apathy, deep depression and take their lives because they are not equipped to fail.
We need to give them boundaries and consequences when they are aggressive, manipulative, and selfish, so they understand their impact, feel remorse, have empathy and learn compassion.
We need to teach them to take full ownership of their emotions so they have the skills to process pain and heal, instead of avoid what they are feeling and go on to gratify themselves with things like alcohol, drugs and sex or violence.
We need to teach them about love, romance, intimacy and sex from a woman’s perspective and help them harness their sexuality so they don’t objectify women, void-fill and take advantage of them. So they don’t disrespect them.
We need to teach them how to be strong and integral with women so they don’t lose themselves and become obsessed by women, needy and desperate to be with a woman or with women all of the time. But also so they don’t hand over their power to their partners or wives and become controlled. Our boys and men need to be given permission by us first and then by themselves to be open and vulnerable, so they allow themselves to express their feelings, be heard, get their needs met, meet their partner’s needs and have healthy relationships.
We need to teach our boys to feel worthy for free, to feel whole and happy with themselves just as they are. We need to remind them they need nothing external and that they don’t have to win every time, be successful, or rich, or have a perfect looking woman on their arm to feel accomplished and fulfilled. We need to help them remember that they are enough just as they are, that they don’t need to prove anything to anyone, not even themselves.
Women of the world it’s time for us to realise and take responsibility for the future of men. We play an important part in how we raise our boys. What kind of men are you raising?
Let’s all take part in helping the world of men transform, one boy at a time.
Nardia Renney is a mumma, champion of boys and men, love warrior, seeker of truth, love and connection.
Find more from Nardia on her website www.nardiajoy.com, and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.
