Can we reassure her that all of her experiences (including the suffering) are part of the secret sauce to the next version of herself; one she will love and appreciate for all her newfound alignment and strength?
And what would be the consequence of seeing and feeling this time perspective?
I hope that the woman, and all around her, make special efforts for her to thrive in this beautiful, challenging period of her life.
If I recognised the intense, and yet relatively short (and at the same time loooonnngg) period of early motherhood, would I have been more willing to support myself? Would I have been more committed to my wellbeing?
Postpartum Planning
How could we use this time perspective, and knowledge of the intensity and joy of this time to our advantage? With hindsight, I would have spent less time and money researching and buying baby stuff, and squirrelled away some money to a Postpartum Thriving fund. In-lieu of any financial investment, there are many ways we can plan well for our early motherhood season.
- We can plan how to support ourselves.
- We can simplify and lower our expectations.
- We can remind ourselves that we are at a peak time, and one day it won’t be as intense as this.
- We can care for ourselves at all levels.
- We can connect with meaning and purpose over productivity and striving.
- We can be patient with ourselves and our learning journey.
- We can create pockets of joy.
- We can nurture our emotional lives.
- We can ask for help.
- We can focus on essentials and let go of all ‘nice to haves’.
- We can come together with our intimate partners to work out how to create a ‘high performing team’ through this time.
But most of all, can we simply be more tender, and kind to ourselves? Can we give ourselves just a little more patience?
Yes, motherhood is beautiful and joyful. But, it is also exhausting and challenging. How can we lift our heads up from the weeds of the every day and acknowledge ourselves for the value we are offering our families and society in this important role of mothering?
Originally published here.
Belinda Haan is a writer, advocate, and facilitator focused on re-writing the motherhood experience. She uniquely blends the best of psychology and heart to support women in their transition into motherhood. She is the founder of The Motherhood Gathering, which provides a loving container for women as they navigate the joy and full catastrophe of early motherhood. You can follow Belinda on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn.
