What to do about it:
Make a list of every single task you so in a day, including the mental and emotional tasks. This will give you a clear picture of what you’re actually doing and you’ll see that you are not a failure; you’re incredibly productive.
3. You are taking responsibility for other people’s emotions
Many of my clients are highly productive, successful and self-aware, yet there’s an issue that seems to sneak through their lens of awareness: they are taking care (or trying to) of their partner’s emotional, mental and often physical needs at the expense of their own. And it’s exhausting.
Why does this happen?
When we dive deep, most women who are over-supporting their partner or children have been taking care of other people at the expense of themselves for a very long time.
If this is you, scan back through past relationships – even with parents and siblings – and you’ll see a pattern emerge. The habit of caretaking lies in believing that other people’s happiness is your responsibility. In truth, it’s not. You can care deeply for someone and offer support without shouldering the responsibility for their happiness.
What to do about it:
I’ll be honest, this one often requires more than a quick tip to shift. It’s deep rooted and takes time to reprogram. But just becoming aware of it can offer up some new choices. Start noticing how you feel when your partner isn’t happy – does it arouse anxiety? Then notice how you act, how much energy you expend trying to make them feel better.
You teach people how to treat you, and when you understand on a deep level that another’s happiness is not your responsibility, you free them up to find ways to fill their own cup.
Bonus: you reclaim that time and energy for yourself and begin to feel more energised, productive and purposeful.
Geordie Bull is a women’s Transformational Coach + NLP Practitioner helping overwhelmed mothers build a foundation of confidence, clarity, courage and connected relationships. Learn more about her online coaching programs at geordiebull.com.au or connect with her on Instagram or Facebook @geordiebullcoaching.
