Yin and Yang: How do you balance work and family?
I am so happy that I get to do what I love and that my dream job can work around the people I love! It can be tricky, making the shift in my brain to being a working mum instead of the ‘full-time stay at home and always available to the children all of the time’ mum… it’s been a journey.
I started my business when my youngest had just turned 2. I was thinking ahead to when she would start Montessori at 3 years old and what I would do for work at that point. One of the reasons I wanted to work for myself was to have the flexibility to work around my kids. I had applied for a part-time role around the same time and even fitting 20 hours a week on someone else’s schedule felt so much harder than it needed to be. Of course, there is still the need for compromises, particularly in weekends and school holidays, but I’m also fortunate to have a School Teacher for a husband and that allows much more flexibility.
The drive: What challenges have you overcome?
Lockdown hit the same week my 3-year-old was supposed to start Montessori – 5 mornings a week… It was supposed to be the week I got freedom from being a full time mumma. The moment I could refocus on my business and grow it. It would mean I could finally work during daylight hours with my clients and to go custom thrifting without the sweet kiddo who just loved to TOUCH. ALL. THE. THINGS! So instead of getting that freedom I had waited for, I then had both kids home. The whole online learning debacle for my eldest daughter, keeping them away from my husband’s home-office so he could work and I was having to pivot my business to a full online service to reach beyond my local clients to those throughout New Zealand. It was a lot. Definitely the biggest challenge so far. However, the support for NZ small businesses was truly phenomenal over lockdown and even accelerated my business, so it was a great challenge to overcome!
The other big challenge is one I know so many women relate to – especially when working in your own business – the big ugly ‘imposter syndrome’ – that one is a daily challenge. Keeping my head in the game, reminding myself that I do know what I’m doing, I am good at it and that people value me and my work.
For better or worse: What are the pros and cons of running your own business?
The cons: (silly how we go to the negative first, right?!)
- The amount of appointments I’ve had to move due to kids being sick is the biggest eye roll. Fortunately, most of my clients completely understand this one!
- That guilty feeling mum’s inherently have when they’re not 100% kid-focused – The juggle is real… during school holidays when I still need to get through work, it is a challenge just for me to switch gears whilst having the kids home. I often feel guilty that I’m not constantly doing activities with them. I need to remind myself that they’re much more independent now and that me being available and close by is sometimes all they need. I’m not needing to be their entertainer and do everything for them anymore. Somewhere in amongst it all there is the freedom and joy of seeing your kids be independent and being able to be near them whilst we’re all doing our own thing – it just needs to be more deliberate in my brain.
The pros:
- I really get to do my dream job!
- The joy I get from seeing that change in posture that my clients get as they realise their post-baby-shaped body can look phenomenal in the right clothing is wonderful. That moment when a client steps out in a completely preloved outfit, possibly even head to toe in high-quality designer, and they can have the whole outfit for the same price they would’ve paid for low quality activewear!
- It is quite an amazing experience to be invited into someone’s space and have them trust you in their most vulnerable state and be able to work together to create these moments of light, happiness and self-confidence for them. Those are the pros that make the sacrifices, hours of trawling, washing and repairing, late nights and hard work worth it.
Hopes and dreams: What next?
My ultimate dream is to see sustainable fashion more mainstream than fast fashion. That it is more desirable for women to be excited and proud that their outfits have been sourced sustainably, instead of at mainstream low-cost stores.
I have found that my particular niche of clients is really hungry for this in-depth knowledge of sustainability in fashion. They’re wanting to better themselves and reach their sustainability goals. It’s empowering when you have the information to make truly good decisions for yourself, your family and our sustainable future. Starting in your wardrobe is also an empowering place to begin the journey – it’s style, sustainability and a self-confidence boost all rolled into one!
I hope to spread my net wider through group events that make this way of dressing and styling “the” exciting movement to be part of. I am setting up exclusive events from Wellington through to the Wairarapa – and I am so excited for this next phase of my business!
Head to the Sheshe Styled This website to find out more and join their supportive communities on Facebook and Instagram.
