Inner-Parent Reminders
(More helpful to read or meditate on outside of the storm. )
✨ I am safe in this place as a witness to my child’s emotions, needs or behaviour. It’s okay for them to have feelings. I don’t have to fix them or make them go away. I can help them feel seen and safe until they pass.
✨ I am not alone. I have my internal mother or father to guide me. I can connect to that now and in tough moments.
✨ I am a good parent and worthy of love and respect for who I am, not because of how my children behave.
✨ My child’s emotions reflect their inner world and they don’t have the maturity yet to manage them alone.
✨ We are growing together and learning how to regulate our bodies. This is important.
✨ When we find our way back to feel regulated, we can problem-solve together. It isn’t an emergency; I can take my time to reconnect.
✨ When my child’s emotions, needs and behaviour don’t scare me, they will grow to not be scared of them.
✨ My child is not alone in the world. (Maybe how I felt). They have me.
✨ My children are worthy of love and respect for who they are and not for how happy, convenient or mature they are.
✨ All emotions & needs are mentionable, manageable, meaningful and can motivate growth.
✨ We grow to regulate our bodies in the same way our caregivers do, until we are conscious. It makes sense that this is hard. Yet, I am growing conscious.
✨ Finding solutions is possible. It doesn’t have to be in this exact moment.
✨ I am safe. I am a loving leader inspiring my people to lovingly lead themselves one day.
✨ I don’t have to be perfect. I can take a moment to connect to my own feelings and needs, to harmonise my body, heart and head.
Lelia Schott is a South African mother to four sons and two daughters (aged 22, 20, 18, 15, 8 and 5). Lelia is a certified parent coach, unschooler, independent researcher, writer, dreamer, peaceful parenting and child advocate, lover of nature, music and exercise. On her best days she can be found with her family in the garden, swimming or walking along the beach.
