By Shelly Langford
I often wonder when it happened.
When did many mothers stop trusting themselves?
When did we begin believing that everyone else knew more about our bodies, our babies and our lives than we did?
Because when I sit with pregnant mothers, whether as a birthworker, in my massage clinic, in a childbirth education class or through the Confident Mother community, I rarely meet women who lack love for their babies or women who lack instinct.
Who I meet are women who are overwhelmed and trying to navigate endless streams of information, conflicting advice, social media opinions, hospital policies, family expectations and fear-based stories.
Women who are quietly asking themselves, “What if I get this wrong?”.
And perhaps that is the quiet crisis facing modern mothers. Not a lack of information, a lack of confidence in themselves.
The truth is, I believe women are born with extraordinary wisdom. Pregnancy itself reminds us of that.
Have you ever noticed how many women begin seeing the world differently once they become pregnant? Suddenly they are thinking more deeply, not just about food, health, the environment, education, relationships, but beyond this into their community, environment, world issues and the future. Things they may never have thought much about before.
They become more emotional, more aware, more protective and more connected and I believe this is part of the intelligent design.
As a woman goes through these changes, she is transforming and adapting into a Mother – the most expansive and powerful transformation she will ever experience, far beyond her growing belly.
She is creating an entirely new organ, the placenta, growing a baby, her hormones are reshaping her brain, her nervous system is adapting, her priorities are shifting and her identity is evolving.
She is moving through her own metamorphosis. Like the caterpillar entering the chrysalis before emerging as a butterfly, pregnancy is a time of profound transformation.
Yet so often, instead of nourishing herself well, gathering what she needs, listening to her instincts and trusting the process, she is left feeling confused, uncertain and disconnected from her own wisdom.
Looking back, I feel this passion is why I have spent so much of my life walking alongside mothers and families.
Before I became a birthworker, I was a mother, home educating my children, caring for many foster children, passionate about nutrition, permaculture, sustainable building and our environment.
Over the years, I was the president of the local play group, coordinated our local Home Education Group and helped facilitate the National Home Education Conference travelling to all the states and territories in Australia.
Through these years, I have watched families grow, adapt and find their own way.
I have seen the beauty of motherhood, but I have also witnessed the self-doubt that so many women carry.
As my children reached the end of their home education journey, I found myself reflecting over my life, the choices I made – often against the norm, and the comments from mothers that stayed with me over the years.
So many wished they knew more, trusted themselves more, felt more confident to listen to what felt right to them instead of following others’ advice.
And the same question kept coming up for me. What could I do to help create a more peaceful world for the generations to follow?
This is what led me into childbirth education, pregnancy and postnatal bodywork, breastfeeding support and birth work.
If I could help empower and build confidence in mothers and their families, together we would enhance humanity and support a healthy Earth for the future generations.
This belief led me to volunteering in Papua New Guinea and establishing my charity Gulagbi, which is now supporting mothers, families and birthworkers in Far North Queensland, PNG, Laos, Guatemala and beyond.
