Yin and Yang: How do you balance work and family?
I have a very understanding partner! I’ve been with my partner for seven years and he has taught me a lot about balance. I do try not to go overboard these days, but I just love what I do so it can be hard trying to apply the brakes sometimes. I used to regularly join families 24/6 for three months to support them through the newborn period and then take a break between families. I love these roles because you get to really see these families blossom.
These days, I predominantly work as a Postpartum Night Nanny, which I really adore because I can support families and provide them with essential respite while also enjoying a much more sustainable work-life balance – although I do still occasionally take on the odd 24/6 role!
The drive: What challenges have you overcome?
For me, the biggest challenge has been bucking the trend. I was very philosophically aligned with the first few families I worked with when I completed my training. However, smooth seas never made a skilled sailor! Not long after I had started out, I joined a family with premature twins who had hired a Maternity Nurse before me, but she had limited availability. This Maternity Nurse was much older and more experienced than me, and she had given the family a strict schedule to follow with the aim of getting the babies to sleep through the night as soon as possible. The babies were premature and only six weeks old, but the family expected them to be sleeping 12 hours a night by the end of the month.
I felt very small next to this older, authoritative Maternity Nurse as I tried to explain the benefits of a baby-led approach and risks of deep sleep in young babies. The parents simply did not want to hear it. Achieving the goal of sleeping through the night was so important to this family that they only held their babies for one hour a day, and often not even that.
I realised that just knowing about gentle parenting, biologically normal infant sleep and being aligned with it wasn’t going to be enough: I needed to be able to articulate the evidence base in the face of misinformation.
The previous Maternity Nurse was simply exercising the wisdom of her day, but research has moved on. Our understanding of developmentally normal infant sleep has moved on. Our understanding of how responsive and loving relationships influences neurological development has moved on. Our understanding of how an affectionate bond between parent and child reduces instances of postpartum depression and child abuse has moved on. Our understanding of everything has moved on, but it takes a long time to wash away misinformation. This is beginning to change, and I hope The Case For Cuddles can help to move this change along.
For better or worse: What are the pros and cons of running your own business?
I absolutely love working for myself. I love flexibility, and I love that I can manage my own schedule. I market myself in such a way that the clients I take on are fully aware of my approach. Being aligned in a parenting style means that I can offer the best support for that family – and every family is different!
There are drawbacks to being self-employed – sick pay would be nice! But then I do love being able to make big decisions for myself, such as taking large stretches of time off to research and write The Case For Cuddles. That’s the sort of thing that would probably be tricky to negotiate with an employer!
Hopes and dreams: What next?
Next on the horizon, I would love to train to become a Birth Doula. I love supporting families during the postpartum period, but I would really love to expand that support. Families often get in touch with me when they are already in the midst of navigating problems, but a lot of the time these can be avoided all together if managed ahead of time.
Doulas also offer continuity of care, which can be reassuring, especially in cases of longer labours. The WHO states that “The benefits of labour companionship can also include shorter length of time in labour, decreased caesarean section and more positive health indicators for babies in the first five minutes after birth”.
Feelings held around the birth can have a profound impact on the postpartum period and beyond. I would love to support new parents at this crucial time as they enter what is likely to be their biggest life transition!
Visit the Moonrise Maternity website to find out more, and connect with Kirsty on Facebook and Instagram.
