As much as we wish for a straightforward pregnancy, labour and birth, we don’t all get our dream experience. That’s because there are thousands of factors that influence a birth and by its nature, it’s unpredictable. So if your birth or postpartum wasn’t what you expected and you are left with feelings like blame, anger, loss or disappointment, there is a way to move through the painful parts to find more peace.
Rosie Humberstone has worked as an Art & Embodied Relational Psychotherapist for 15 years. After having lived experience of a shocking birth, Rosie was trained in a unique process from Pam England’s (midwife & birth specialist) movement, Birth Story Medicine. She is dedicated to sharing how it can help women feel heard and take back control of their emotional health after difficult motherhood experiences.
Rosie is the founder of Birthing Your Story. She lives in Yorkshire with her husband and two sons where she enjoys being a perfect-imperfect mother.
How did Birth Story Medicine help you?
During the birth of my second son, I shockingly had a brain haemorrhage (stroke) and lost all mobility on my left side for months. I was suddenly disabled and caring for my newborn. It was a lot to cope with. Soon after, I couldn’t even look at an image of someone else birthing their baby ‘naturally’ without this anger rising up in me. My feelings were valid and real but I knew I needed to process them. By using both Art Therapy and Birth Story Medicine, I can honestly say I can share my story now with more peace. Plus, I learnt so much about myself along the way.
Where do you hold the sessions?
The private individual meetings are held mostly online or can be face to face. I work from my 1960s caravan in West Yorkshire – it’s my little sanctuary away from a home full of boys! Due to the structure of the process, it is usual to only need 1-2 sessions. The first part of the session is guided by me and you will have the chance to share some of your story and how you want to feel differently about it.
Is it like a birth debrief or rewind session?
No, it’s not like either. A debrief or rewind session can be helpful, especially if you happen to get a patient, empathetic listener. I personally had both and I did release some emotion, but I didn’t shift this belief that ‘I failed’. I couldn’t shake it until Birth Story Medicine.
In Birth Story Medicine, you don’t need to share the full account of everything that happened in your birth, as the whole idea is to uncover other meanings in the story. It’s focussed work – we get to the heart of the matter quite quickly. So for that reason, if your story is very painful or traumatic, you don’t have to recount all of it to me. We can go gently and just work with one part that was tough. Each session I’ve done is totally different, and together we find the individual ‘medicine’ you need.
How does it actually work?
We meet, connect, set a goal for the hour and then focus on what’s upsetting you. We think about what meaning you’ve taken from this experience. Then think about how this is affecting your life and why you want it to change.
Then I can bring in creativity, storytelling, narrative therapy and psychology that’s unique to your story. There’s a solution-focused element to the session, so we start to uncover your strengths to make manageable changes.
