Better yet, how about co-housing? You’d then live on land with a community who shares agreements, meals once or twice a week, and much more. Children benefit from this greatly. They learn to be with others in a way that offers intimate connection, agreements and practising strong communication. Isolated living, the norm in America and many other countries, is the way. It doesn’t work. I deeply yearn for co-housing.
Remember, parenting is a ton of work. Gorgeous, challenging work. In some ways, having an only child is more work, simply because you are the key playmate.
There’s no other kid for your kid to play with, and that means more need from you. So the more you can set up social joy and interaction for your family, the better off you’ll all be.
Yes, there are other challenges with homeschooling an only child, yet frankly, this is the one that is so massive it smacks me every day. So for now I’ll leave it here and wish you the very best in following your dreams.
In community, we thrive.
Jessica Rios, Founder of Leaning into Light, is a mother, lifelong letter writer, and eternal fan of Mr. (Fred) Rogers. This deeply personal blog and her free recorded conversations are devoted to one of her greatest passions: illuminating the beauty of the human spirit.
Hi, I homeschool an only child, too. We lived in a community where I was somewhat isolated and it was so, so hard. We ended up moving and now my son attends a private school/homeschool hybrid. He’s in school two days a week and is given homework for the other three days. He is in a night time class.
Both my son and my husband are glad to be only children. So that’s great. Still, it’s not so easy for the mother of an only who worries about her child’s isolation. I had a very social child, so he really needed playmates. I was a nanny for 3 kids and I found one child much more time consuming because I had to be the main playmate. It wasn’t in my plans, but I am grateful for all the time we had together.
I think there are pros and cons to siblings (being one of five myself). I’m guessing most of the time people like us, who find ourselves with only one child, perhaps not by choice, can become isolated due to a variety of circumstances we didn’t anticipate (infertility, pandemic, moves etc..). I agree with your assessment that it’s important to seek out community. As someone who has moved a lot, I thing parents should really consider moving if they can’t find community in their area. This can happen in smaller towns where it’s hard to break into long term relationships if you are a transplant.
God graciously opened a door to help us to move out an isolated area and, now, my son is thriving. My once outgoing child was much more shy after two yrs of isolation, so it took at least 15 tries at having him join different things before we finally found a couple that clicked. We would not have had 15 things to try in our previous community.
If you move for community, try to move to a town where there are many other transplants. There is much more of a chance for finding a community there than a place where friendships are established for years.